open relationships

I have been in an open relationship and personally believe that they do not work very well. Once you start setting rules to a relationship, one party starts to deny their true feelings and emotions to abide by these rules. I don’t know your relationship so I can’t speak on your behalf, but in my experience, open relationships usually begin “mutual” and end with one party feeling really hurt. I feel that in open relationships, one person is not 100% committed and has doubts but isn’t ready to pull the trigger and break up with the other, and the other person agrees because they don’t want to lose what they have left.

All i have to say is be careful and communicate.

What sort of ground rules have you put in place?

If you are in a relationship where you feel the need to have other partners to fullfil your sexual/emotional/physical needs, you shouldn’t be in that relationship. Straight up.

@lozzjd, What happens if one of you falls in love with another partner?

I’ve had a few of those, it was pretty nice.

Don’t complicate things, that defeats the purpose.

Don’t get attached, don’t overthink things, don’t give a shit. Just enjoy.

Hippie style fuck yeah!!

@ellesoul, just curious… how do you think it’s selfish & ignorant? I don’t understand how giving someone freedom would be selfish.

@bobbylloydxd, i know about open relationships, i’ve had many friends who’ve been in them. so you know nothing about my life and experiences, and you just judged me…i won’t call you ignorant for that though. i’m simply stating my opinion. @emily since bobby doesn’t like the word ignorant, i won’t say that it is.

the reason i believe it’s selfish is simply because you’re fulfilling some sexual need you have, even though your partner may agree, you’re in a relationship… yeah you’re partner has freedoms, but why would you tell someone “sleep with who you want, but come home to me, make sure i know about it, i want to meet the person, i want to like them too..” to me it just seems like open relationships are about feeding YOUR needs, and still trying to keep the other person with you. isn’t that kind of selfish?

@buddha, I have to agree with that. I discussed this option with my partner and he told me that one should think well about the consequences. Why the need for an “open relationship”? What does being in a relationship mean to you and what is really different between an open and an exclusive relationship? Can we fall in love with more people at the same time? Is it going to be fair to all parties? How different is it from polygamy??

I’ve been in an open relationship. It was my first relationship, so I was reluctant and insecure about it (need I mention that it quickly became destructive?), but it was never equal which was why it failed of course. If both parts really are in it knowingly, and the relationship is strong at the root to begin with, and you’re good communicators, then perhaps there is a way for it to work. But then, as some have stated before me, why stay in the relationship? I’m not attempting to judge anyone, I’m just trying to grasp what would make you seek an open relationship. It could work. Good luck :)

@ellesoul, you said yourself that sex is only 5 percent of a relationship. Why do you make it the most sacred part that can never be shared? I hope you wouldn’t be jealous about your partner sharing their intellect with others. Why then their body? You are an advocate of a relationship being about much more than just sex, yet you bash the idea of an open relationship?

@beyond, haha! I like how you put it! I wonder what kind of rules would be in such a relationship?
I do not say that open relationships are a bad thing, they might please some people, but what meaning do they give to your life? What’s the purpose of having them? To have fun? Why not try having fun without hurting people (as @buddha, said, someone always end up being hurt)

@ellesoul, in any relationship, monogamous or with multiple partners, you’re always looking to fulfull YOUR needs. Always. If your needs aren’t met, then there’s no point. If the other person isn’t okay with it, and you’re lying to them, that would be selfish. But loving someone, and wanting them to be happy, no matter what that entails, I think is extremely unselfish.

“sleep with who you want, but come home to me, make sure i know about it, i want to meet the person, i want to like them too..” < ----I wouldn't tell someone this. The dynamics of an open relationship are whatever the people that are involved decide for them to be.

@kidvisions, check out the article…people don’t always get hurt. People can be extremely happy that way.