Plagued Mind

2 years, 6 months ago

Do you ever think really far into the darker places of the mind?

Sometimes it seems like a requirement of sanity for me to methodically think through some of the more twisted and gruesome aspects of life in order to have assurance that I’m not slowly beginning to become a part of those aspects.

For example, has anyone else actually thought about the possibility of being a sociopath, a murderer, a rapist, etc?

If so, does it ever start to feel like a requirement, or are the thoughts quickly dispelled?

If not, what resolve have you found to totally justify NOT inquiring further into these topics?

I’ve always thought of myself as being quite capable both in overcoming encroaching obstacles as well as having solid instincts, come there a sudden impediment that I need to bypass, so I suppose this partially explains my experience.

I just wonder how many people there are out there that can think so diligently and to such great depth about the awesome aspects of life like spirituality, interconnectedness of our world as one great energy, the vastness and incredible complexity of the universe, and somehow just be able to shut it off for everything else. It seems like, for me, I’m either going way into the clouds or way down the rabbit hole.

October 12, 2012 at 4:00 am

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Profile photo of aneesh aneesh (@aneesh) 2 years, 6 months ago ago

There’s no such a thing as mind. Mind is just a word for thoughts and habits of thinking. A big problem is identifying with those thoughts, assuming that there is someone who is thinking them. That’s where we become fearful of our own ‘minds,’ and when we’re fearful and start repressing it, we’re more likely to act on these thoughts.

Yeah, we all have sick, twisted thoughts every now and then. But WHO decides they’re fucked up? We don’t need to label them as such.

Watch your thoughts, without reacting or doing anything at all. They just come up to the surface and dissipate into nothingness. No need to inquire, no need to not inquire.

Profile photo of DaJetPlane DaJetPlane M (@lytning91) 2 years, 6 months ago ago

@aneesh, I’m choosing to define the thoughts as I see them, but also going into the thoughts with the understanding that my perspective is biased.

My main goal in posting this isn’t to have people make me feel better about the things that I think are messed up in my head, but really to get an understanding of the depths to which people face the sides of their minds they see as “dark” as well as the frequency.

As for the bit about not having a mind, it might be worth discussion but it’s not exactly the topic I was aiming for, nor does it aid in constructively approaching the questions I proposed.

I don’t know how many times it must be stated, but yes it is clear to a large portion of people that the abstractness of our existence and the relative nature of our interactions from day to day confound our ability to expressly communicate what we are thinking/feeling. It also does us no favors that we are not sure, as you mentioned, of our exact state of existence and the lines that do/do not govern that existence.

I get that. GIVEN all of these variables that we cannot address and the defeatist mentality of “why bother?” I’m continuing forward with the topic as I intended.

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