Play fighting and skills

2 years, 9 months ago

ok me and this other guy (i think he’s my friend, not sure since he likes to humiliate me) decided to play fight (which he initiated) and I could tell that i lost, now I’ve had self defense training for 2 years and this one play fight has been significantly been bothering me because it shows that I’m incapable of defending or fighting back. Now i really didn’t want to hurt this guy (because I would get in trouble with the nearby security) but that one play fight just bothers me constantly even though i know that this shouldn’t affect me. I just can’t help thinking that I’m incapable of doing something that i have been practicing for over 2 years.

Do you guys ever get that feel?

May 31, 2012 at 1:31 am

You must sign in or join to reply!

1
Profile photo of DaJetPlane DaJetPlane M (@lytning91) 2 years, 9 months ago ago

@wesker53r86, I do think about how there might come a time that I will have to defend myself and might not have the ability to. I do not, however, think that it has anything to do with my ego.

The play fight thing is something that might tick me off in the moment, but I would quickly realize that it’s petty and that if I really wanted to train to become a better defensive fighter, I would need a fuel more pure than my wounded ego.

This is what I would say to you: learn to become more defensive, but do it because you want it for you, and for those you care for. Don’t get the training just because you want to show off to this guy a few months later

[Hidden]
1
Profile photo of Rehum P Rehum P (@wesker53r86) 2 years, 9 months ago ago

@lytning91, I’m just worried that if there comes a time where the closest people i know turn on me, I don’t want to hesitate to throw a punch.

[Hidden]
1
Profile photo of DaJetPlane DaJetPlane M (@lytning91) 2 years, 9 months ago ago

@wesker53r86, yeah, and self-defense is a very important thing to have. The only thing is that you don’t really know when to expect that kind of thing. I’d say you just ought to start trying to get some training under your belt as soon as you can.

My whole other spiel was just about having that defense for the wrong reasons.

[Hidden]
1
Profile photo of Matthew Matthew (@ojai) 2 years, 9 months ago ago

I agree with @lytning91, make sure you have the defense for the right reasons. Most people in street fights don’t even really know how to throw a proper punch. Most people are right hand dominate in fights and will just try to come at you and throw the most powerful right hand ever so mainly just look for that. Also if you learn some simple jiu jitsu techniques, you’ll be able to wrestle with and beat a lot people in play fights or real fights. Watch somebody with no jiu jitsu or ground fighting experience wrestle with somebody who has some experience, you’ll understand what I mean.

[Hidden]
1
Profile photo of Chris Chris (@ennaangel) 2 years, 9 months ago ago

@wesker53r86, I understand what you mean.
But I assume you guys didn’t use any protective gear while “fighting”. And you have experience in defending yourself. Knowing the other guy is no real thread. Made you focus on not hurting the other guy. And focus less on the fight at that moment. This might be the reason you lost. It’s common for people that have some experience in play fighting to loose from people that don’t do it often, because the new guy is more agressive.

[Hidden]
1
Profile photo of Nate Nate (@natethethinker) 2 years, 9 months ago ago

Kenpo Karate rule number one “don’t be there” and it is so true, but you want real advice about self defense, it isn’t based on rules, play fighting is, play fighting you hold back, real fighting you don’t. I have been in Kenpo Karate for over a year, just made brown belt, and I do Wing Chun Do, im a gold belt, been in it for five months now, I am passionate about martial arts and the truth about self defense is you will do things that are violent to your opponent. eye strikes, throat strike, grown shots, ear shots, and so on. also if you don’t want to play fight with this person, you can let it be known or learn their opening and make a memory-strike, one they wont forget for a while. People don’t like to play with others that hurt them, or are much better. thank you!

[Hidden]
1
Profile photo of  Anonymous (@) 2 years, 9 months ago ago

when you say play fighting I envision a lot of slapping and giggling. Are we talking sparring or rolling, two buddies just messing around, or what’s the situation? I’m trying to gauge a level of intensity here. But like others have said, if it is actually a fear of an inability to defend yourself in certain situations that was brought on by this instance then you can use it, use that to motivate you to get better, to train harder. But if it’s just an ego bruise that is motivating you to come back and whoop this guy later then I think you’re missing the point of most martial arts. But if the martial arts aren’t what interests you, and you’re strictly looking for self defense, then maybe Krav Maga would be more up your alley.

[Hidden]
1
Profile photo of nebula nebula (@nebula) 2 years, 9 months ago ago

@smalls is right, what was the story with this “play” fight? Was it just mucking around with a mate or was it more serious then that (you sound like it may have been more serious). If it was definitely just play then don’t worry about it. I have 5 years of Shaolin Kung Fu training under my belt and I would never use any of my serious techniques in a play fight against mates as they are designed to hurt and/or kill people. Also in a play fight you can’t even defend at full pace (let alone attack) because your hard blocking might hurt your untrained friend. Combine this with the fact that an untrained person will come at you harder because they don’t have any of these things circulating in their head and you have a very good reason as to why you felt like you lost the play fight.
But just train harder anyway!

[Hidden]
Reply to this topic

More Posts Like This

21

[HE 30 Day Challenge] March ’15 – Dream Journaling!

Is everyone super zen from last month’s meditation challenge? I hope so :) The challenge for March is dream journaling! Dream journaling is the practice of writing down your dreams immediately upon waking (before...

2

I have a guy problem – I really don't like guys.

Hi. I need advice…. I am having a really hard time *liking* guys. I feel like if I make out with a guy more than once if we are drunk or just at a party I tend to have feelings for them, or grow feelings for them,...

1

Does light bounce off the objects we perceive?

we all know that the things we see are matter that reflect certain wavelengths of photo energy from which we distinguish colors, I have this idea (please tell me how i am wrong) that the matter we see absorb photo-energy...

3

What do you Fear?

As I was reading posts and responding to them I decided I wanted to get some input from you all on a topic that I toil over quite often. Everywhere I look I see things like “conquer your fears”, “fear...

8

[Official] What did you think of the meditation 30-day challenge?

Before we start the next challenge (dream journaling!), I’d like to get feedback on the last one. How did you like it? Did you benefit from the challenge? What would you change for next time? What functionality...

10

Intelligence: a Blessing or a Curse?

Greetings HEthens, I’d like to talk about intelligence vs. stupidity. More specifically, I intend to address these questions: Is ignorance truly bliss? And, if so, is being stupid – that is, being perpetually...

1

physics / psychology

Physical science aka physics, I believe is but one side of a coin. Where social sciences like psychology and many others are the other side. There is the physical world and the mental world. One can effect the other like...

51

[Official] Site-Wide February Meditation Challenge!

Welcome to the first of many monthly HE 30 day challenges! We ran a poll to choose the challenge, and the winner was meditation, with dream journaling as a close second. The rules are simple: 1) Meditate at least once...

2

I feel as if I've done all this before.

Sometimes I feel as if I have already lived this life before. Not just this life, but other ones as well. Sometimes I will do something and it will feel like I had done that before. I may start to watch a movie and it...

3

why it is so hard to find the right people?

Hi HE! its been a while since my last post here, i have go through an incredible journey in the last two years but there is something that doesnt complete me. I was hopping that maybe you guys could give an advice or if...

5

The Darkness

The Darkness Are you tired of this shit? Tired of your safe and mundane existence? Tired of pretending to care? What if you just gave up? What if you just did not give a fuck anymore? How liberating would that feel?...

2

What are your limits?

I’m curious where you guys place the limit of what you can do. Like in your flow of creating, or being yourself (doing the things you want to do) where do you bump in to the wall which suggests that you should...

17

Any one want to live in the mountains of Colorado in Earthship and off Grid?

Starting a Earthship commune type place to go and live off the land and be free. Geodesic greenhouses and creative place where their is no worries, no pressure, no bullshit, raise a family. Any one want to live in an...

3

How can I get along with people

its been my problem for ever.I can’t get along with anybody.today i got into big argument with my classmate in front of whole class.I was humiliated.I can’t have good conversations with anybody.I feel like...

1

I want my parents to try pot.

My parent are super stress all the time my father drinks allot and well my mother can’t take he’s drinking any longer anyway i want to tell them that i smoke pot (I don’t know if it’s a good idea...