positive and negative thinking
I know there are already made topics on this but I want to talk about it a little bit more.
a little advice please? there are some friends in my life whom sometimes make it a bit hard for me to be positive for they keep throwing drama at me. what should i do?
The outside can influence your thinking, especially if you’ve got a reactive ego that you can’t control. It’s all about mental strength and rising above the ego.
If you want to not let those negative friends influence your mind, you must learn how to control your mind and be free from the ego.
I think all of our thinking is influenced by the outside, but the power to decide to think positively/negatively is in our hands. As for what triggers our brain to think positively or negatively, I think that is based on our personality, including prior experiences and how we react in general.
I´ve been making conscious efforts to think positively and one way I do this is immediately when a negative thought enters my head, I try to replace it with something positive about the person, situation, etc. This is pretty hard at first, and even now sometimes a negative thought can brew a bit before I even realize it, but just try.
As for your friends making your life dramatic–well, life´s too short to surround yourself with people who make you unhappy.
Iris, I can relate. I had a friend over last night who I hadn’t hung out with in about 4 months, only to discover she only wanted to talk about other people, complain about her boyfriend and family, etc. I had nothing to respond to all of those things so could only listen and nod. I recently read in a book that negativity and positivity (why does HE always tell me I’m spelling that wrong?) are 2 sides of the same coin, that if you experience too much of one, the other is bound to follow. For this reason lately I have been trying to do as Manimal says, and rise above my ego, and try to find myself in neither negativity or positivity. To exist in a peaceful state regardless of what volatile moods or thoughts I am surrounded with.
@manimal, What do you mean be free from the ego? How do you do that? AND How does that help you be more positive? Or less negative?
|Travis in Wunderland
@aneris, I tend to think positive. Im not sure if its me causing it or surroundings, but ive had people tell me even when they think they are bringing me down that I can look to the bright side of everything. Im looking forward to reading more comments on this to see what others say.
@aneris, I was about to start a post on this as well! So fascinated by this idea- it’s a sort of blame game. Are our negative thoughts and actions our fault, or should we blame the poor environment we live in? It is really hard to say. I honestly have no idea.
@tangledupinplaid21, So say your mood is a wavelength. + vs – as well as neutral in the center state. does this peaceful state imply that you always try to pull towards neutral, even if you’re having a positive experience. my example that spurred this was: sometimes when I laugh with friends I’ll try to prolong it because it is just because it feels great. does this necessarily mean that when I come down, my next negative experience will be more profound than it would’ve been without the boost of laughter?
Do monks laugh often? or do they remain neutral. I am assuming from the get-go that laughter is a positive experience, though, but I have noticed some monks that are happy mf’rs! haha BUT what I’m getting at is I personally don’t see an emotionless life to be very rewarding…
Or am I missing the point that you are only talking about being optimistic or pessimistic – and trying to float down the river of thoughts rather than cling to any emotions which often times leads to expectations of the future –which means you’re living in the future and/or probably have anxieties (and won’t be satisfied when things don’t live up to your ‘plans’)?
I may have to come back to this thought after it marinates a bit.
@reneerdz21, What I mean is simple, not being under the ego’s control.
How do I do it? Presence and understanding, I’ve learned to spot the ego’s schemes and cut out a bunch of bullshit from the ego.
I helps being positive because the ego is typically full of negative bullshit. Worries, cares, obsessions, all sorts of delusive butthurt and negatron. And if you’re not in control of your ego, your ego controls you, constantly filling your mind with negative stuff.
I have the same problem with my friends – and the thing is that it’s so difficult to jump to another group of friends when your current ones are being too negative (my school is very clique-y)
I’ve been trying to stay positive by focusing more on my own self improvement and doing things that I personally enjoy, not necessarily with people in my group of friends. There are always days of negativity, but as long as you can come out of it, you’ll be stronger and happier than before.
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