rape

2 years, 5 months ago

every day 260 women are raped in the UK alone. this is shocking news i heard tonite. many women i know have been raped. this is such a traumatic thing. just wondering if anyone wants to comment on their experiences here.

September 15, 2012 at 12:55 pm

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Profile photo of Jeslyn Jeslyn (@jeslyntweedie) 2 years, 5 months ago ago

That this exists at all. Why?

What is rape?

Who is to blame?

Why?

What is a victim?

What do these answers say about our culture?

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Profile photo of TheSkaFish TheSkaFish M (@theskafish) 2 years, 5 months ago ago

As long as we have a society where people are led to believe that it is ok to force their will on others, bad things like this will unfortunately continue. We’ve got to move to a point where people see that everyone has the same value as living beings.

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Profile photo of Kidd Kidd (@kidd) 2 years, 5 months ago ago

@senseless, I agree completely.

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Profile photo of ELI var namnet ELI var namnet (@manimal) 2 years, 5 months ago ago

@senseless, WHAT?

We ARE taught “do not rape.” And most people follow that.

There are, of course, a bunch of “rotten eggs” but that doesn’t mean people aren’t taught to not rape.

But people are also taught to treat rape victims horribly.

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Profile photo of Bobby Bobby (@bobbylloydxd) 2 years, 5 months ago ago

@kidd, @senseless, I hope you understand why you have been taught to be careful not to be raped as opposed to being taught not to rape. It wouldn’t make much sense to teach girls not to rape someone. My brothers and I were definitely told to treat people with respect. I think most people that are taught that will understand how wrong it is to rape someone. I cant really identify with the idea of raping someone at all. I don’t know how someone could do that and be ok with themselves. I’m not even sure that it has to do with how you raise your children, It might just be a personality disorder.
As far as something being wrong in our society. Yes of course, but I would be surprised if there has ever been a society in which women weren’t raped. I don’t know if rape is really a telling statistic as to the state of our society.

I’m curious. How would you feel if convicted rapists were put to the death penalty? Or if a man whose wife, daughter, or sister is raped murders the rapist?

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Profile photo of Matthew Matthew (@ojai) 2 years, 5 months ago ago

@stonedragon21, Every single day 260 women are raped, in the UK alone?

That’s a lot of fucking rape going on.

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Profile photo of Peter Peter (@searchingforthetruth) 2 years, 5 months ago ago

Whatt? That is insane!

Listen, there is a need for legitimate brothels in my opinion.

Sex is part of our animistic nature.

Prostitution is the one of the oldest professions in the world.

I think it would do good at minimizing the number of rapes that occur,

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Profile photo of ELI var namnet ELI var namnet (@manimal) 2 years, 5 months ago ago

The worst thing about this is that those 260 women are just the ones that went to the police. Not all rape victims do. And not all rape victims are women.
So the numbers are probably quite a bit bigger than 260.

@searchingforthetruth, It would help cover up the symptom, but not get rid of the cause.

Also, look at countries where it’s legal, there’s still rape going on there.
A lot of rapists aren’t in it just for the sex, they want rape specifically. If they just wanted sex, they could’ve just had sex, and that’s something just about anyone can supply. There are always people who are willing, no need to pay. Also, it’s not hard to find a prostitute even if it’s illegal.

Legalizing prostitution doesn’t help much, really. AND it would most likely make the human trafficking market much bigger, and that’s waaaaaayyyy worse than rape if you ask me.

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Fucking frat boys…

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Profile photo of Peter Peter (@searchingforthetruth) 2 years, 5 months ago ago

@manimal,

It wouldn’t get rid of the cause..you can’t completely rid people of psychological problems.

But..brothels is an outlet. We don’t exactly know why people rape. Granted..power and control plays a major role. But do not ignore the possibility that lack of a sexual release may escalate the need for power and control…and combined ..could cause to put people over the edge and commit these heinous crimes.

” If they just wanted sex, they could’ve just had sex, and that’s something just about anyone can supply. ”

I think you ignoring the barriers to entry..haha….Possibilities of incarceration?..and what if you just lack game and look like Quasimodo?

Just because anyone can supply it, does not mean they will or are in the environment to do so.

Legalized prostitution may be an avenue for human trafficking..yeah that is a possibility, But I believe with the right laws, government regulation, mental health clinic and legitmate brothels…the amount of rapes would decrease.

By how much exactly? I don’t know. The effects of legalized prostitution may actually have negative affects like you mentioned.

I think a good research needs to be done in this aspect.

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Profile photo of ELI var namnet ELI var namnet (@manimal) 2 years, 5 months ago ago

“you can’t completely rid people of psychological problems.” @searchingforthetruth

How could you KNOW that for sure?

“But do not ignore the possibility that lack of a sexual release may escalate the need for power and control…and combined ..could cause to put people over the edge and commit these heinous crimes” @searchingforthetruth

Lack of sexual release is a decision, if you just wanted to get laid you would just get laid. And it’s not like it would be hard, if you’re desperate enough to rape just to get off, then you’re desperate enough to fuck just about anyone who’s willing. Seeing how they go for the rape, it can’t really be about the sexual tension.
Also, people aren’t pushed over the edge, they step over the edge. “I was pushed over the edge” is the shittiest excuse in history. It can’t even begin to justify something like rape.

“I think you ignoring the barriers to entry..haha….Possibilities of incarceration?..and what if you just lack game and look like Quasimodo?” @searchingforthetruth

Doesn’t matter, there are others who are equally desperate.

Also, this desperation isn’t “just something that happens.” There’s a lot of people who go their whole lives without sex or even masturbation. Nobody NEEDS sex. Which means desperation is just another shitty excuse.

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Profile photo of Prittii Prittii (@prittii) 2 years, 5 months ago ago

I’ve been sexually abused a few times… Just being abused is already so hurtful… Rape must be totally destructive!

Many women that are raped or abused don’t even tell the police or to other people what happened, because they are afraid they will be accused of “seducing” the guy, or just not wishing of having to look at his face again. This is actually the way I felt when a photographer abused me… I don’t want every look at his face again! I know he does the same to many women… and I hope some of them will denounce him, like it happened to Lee Crooper “the mofo” from the UK.

The American super famous photographer Terry Richardson is actually known for sexually abusing young girls… and he says “this is part of his creative process” and gets away with it! This is how senseless the limits to the “rape/sexual abuse” are in the society.

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Profile photo of stonedragon stonedragon (@stonedragon21) 2 years, 5 months ago ago

@searchingforthetruth, this is a good point. we should look at the statistics of rape in the netherlands, where prostitution is legal and available to see if it is drastically lower.
also in societies s where the role of the woman is very low there must be such an incredible amount of unreported rapes.
@prittii, you are right, most women , or even guys for that matter, dont want to face up to what happened to them, they prefer to just pretend it never happened or keep this pain inside. i was like this, after being raped twice at 17, i never dared to remember it but kept it locked away in my heart. after many years and theapy it came out. im sure many people have this same horrible experience. its hard to talk about for the victum. but very important.

i guess only when the people of our planet grow enuf in love then they will stop abusing each other.
we need to adress this point!

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Profile photo of pat pat (@epath) 2 years, 5 months ago ago

@searchingforthetruth, Rape is not about sex. Even prostitutes get raped.

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Profile photo of  Anonymous (@) 2 years, 5 months ago ago

Rape is about power, control and domination. Alot of rapists particularly target women who project a certain image that the slathering dogs of society can’t wait to rip apart. I can sympathize, but it’s still a pathetic show.

What would you do if you caught a rapist before the curtain call? Hurt him? Fix him?…in every sense of the word?

It’s probably healthier to just accept you had a less than satisfactory fuck and get on with it, rather than brooding on the fact that someone made you feel worthless.

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Profile photo of Matthew Matthew (@ojai) 2 years, 5 months ago ago

@mimic, do you really think somebody can just transform a traumatic experience such as rape with a mindset of “welp, on one hand i just had an emotionally and physically painful rape just happen to me buuuuut on the other hand I coouuuld, if I wanted to ‘make a healthy decision’ just see it as me just having less than par sex”

Haha that is ridiculous!

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Profile photo of  Anonymous (@) 2 years, 5 months ago ago
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Profile photo of Prittii Prittii (@prittii) 2 years, 5 months ago ago

@mimic, I would put him in jail. Rapists are criminals and must be eliminated from the society as any other criminal.

The way you think is spiteful… get your heart cleaned up!

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Profile photo of Prittii Prittii (@prittii) 2 years, 5 months ago ago

@stonedragon21, I know how that is! I have a friend that lost her virginity raped in a party.

Nowadays, she has everything going fine in her life: she is in university, she has many good friends, she has a great family, she is very beautiful and intelligent… but still unhappy! She can never get over what happened. It’s sad that some people cannot understand how it feels!

I cannot even watch a rape scene (or pedophilia) in a movie… I cry for hrs…

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Profile photo of stonedragon stonedragon (@stonedragon21) 2 years, 5 months ago ago

@mimic, you obviously and luckily have never been raped or sexually abused. it is one thing to think about having a bad fuck. we have all had enuf of those, and something else to be violently overpowered. it is that feeling of helplessness that is so hard to over come.

@prittii, im sorry for your friend. by talking about it with someone like you that understands perhaps she can eventually come to grips with it. it takes time to heal this, and it is important that she works it out as soon as she can and get on with the joy of her life! and LOVE.

i too can not stand to see most films. any type of violence abhors me.

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Profile photo of stonedragon stonedragon (@stonedragon21) 2 years, 5 months ago ago

@justgoing, just read your wiki article. shocking facts in there
like…. Only 16% of rapes and sexual assaults are reported to the police in the united states. baby rape in south africa is frequent. etc….
it is worth reading this link to inform ourselfs more on this topic.

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Profile photo of Kidd Kidd (@kidd) 2 years, 5 months ago ago

@bobbylloydxd, Well, women rape people, too. (Let’s not forget this, people!) Not nearly as much, but women do sexually abuse others more often than we’d like to think. And those women predators were told their whole life “not to get raped” as if it’s the victim who needs to be careful rather than the rapist who needs to control him or herself. I think we’d all agree that the victim doesn’t deserve the blame, but in our society, a victim never goes to court without being accused of provoking the rape or “asking for it.” I read a nonfiction book about gender roles, and one part stuck out to me: “Going to court felt like I was getting raped again,” said by a woman victim who pressed charges against her attackers. The defense lawyer asked if she was a hooker, if she provoked the attack, if she was asking for it… In my head, that sounds like it could be just as bad as the rape.

Also, rape generally happens because people think they’re entitled to sex and, in the case of women getting raped, women are still seen as lesser to men in society. And with logic like that, if he thinks he’s entitled to a “lesser” being, why can’t a man force himself upon a woman? I mean, my family and I have been raised really well (and we’re lucky for it), but some people grow up with role models who think like this. Maybe not to the point of rape–maybe so in parts of the world. Rape is about dominance, and men feel like they are dominant. And some need to prove that.

As for the death penalty, I oppose it in all cases. But neither I nor anyone I know has ever been raped nor murdered nor anything extreme. The most I can confess being a victim to is theft, and that’s not extreme enough for a person to go to prison sometimes.

And as for the man who murders the rapist, I wouldn’t blame him. Though, I also wouldn’t think that that was okay. I can understand, but I won’t be okay with it. But again, I’ve never been in the situation.

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Profile photo of  Anonymous (@) 2 years, 5 months ago ago

“do you really think somebody can just transform a traumatic experience such as rape with a mindset of “welp, on one hand i just had an emotionally and physically painful rape just happen to me buuuuut on the other hand I coouuuld, if I wanted to ‘make a healthy decision’ just see it as me just having less than par sex””

I’m just spewing notions out on a keyboard. Not to sound blasé, but if rape is about dominance, then an inability to come to terms with it suggests that the victim subconciously accepts some sort of responsibility. I don’t think that’s healthy, even if it is true.

“I would put him in jail. Rapists are criminals and must be eliminated from the society as any other criminal.”

Rapists are people and people make society.

“The way you think is spiteful… get your heart cleaned up!”

Thank you for your advice. I did respond with the intent of helping others but apparently I lack tact. Have you ever thought what it might be like to be a rapist?

“it is that feeling of helplessness that is so hard to over come.”

Are you a stronger person for it?

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Profile photo of Prittii Prittii (@prittii) 2 years, 5 months ago ago

@kidd, I’m sorry, but there is no point to pretend that men and women are the same. In the rape case, more than in any other, it’s obvious the difference.

Women can sexually assault men… but how can a woman rape a man? Maybe if she manages to tight him up and stick something up his ass… but I never heard of such case! And even in this case, she is not getting any pleasure out of this torture (mental pleasure maybe)…

Rape is a serious problem against women and children in the world. Let’s quit the hypocrisy pretending it’s man’s problem too.

Another thing: “But neither I nor anyone I know has ever been raped nor murdered nor anything extreme”

People that get raped don’t shout it out loud to the world. My friend that got raped at the age of 15 never told anyone else beside me and her sister about this. She is from Canada and a really high level neighborhood. Also Stonedragon mentioned she spent years without talking about it. This problem doesn’t belong to the “unfortunate ones”… It’s everywhere.

@mimic, “people” don’t make society: “Citizens” make society! And being a citizen means having “rights and obligations”… Once you don’t accomplish your obligations or you interrupt other citizen’s right, you should be arrested and excluded from society for the safety of the other citizens.

“Have you ever thought what it might be like to be a rapist”

Probably much easier than being raped! This one for example, doesn’t look sad: http://www.mamamia.com.au/style/models-vogue-terry-richardson-exploitation/

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Profile photo of Kidd Kidd (@kidd) 2 years, 5 months ago ago

@prittii, “Women can sexually assault men… but how can a woman rape a man?”
You seem to assume that men don’t get raped by other men and you assume women only rape men. Women can sexually abuse other women and children. Besides, the women who do rape men can do so with date rape drugs and the like. It’s not exactly impossible.

“Rape is a serious problem against women and children in the world. Let’s quit the hypocrisy pretending it’s man’s problem too.”
Excuse you? About 20% of prisoners report being raped (these are only the ones who REPORT it, mind you.) One in every eight rape victims are men (again, only the men who come forth). And men are less likely to come forward than women are, and even when they do, they’re more likely to get teased or simply not believed because of their gender. Rape is a serious problem against PEOPLE of the world, not just women. Rape is just as traumatizing for a man as it is a woman, and to act like it’s not a problem is just appalling on your part. I think you should quit the hypocrisy.

“People that get raped don’t shout it out loud to the world.”
Exactly. And a man is much less likely to come forth than a woman.

That all being said I don’t deny that women and children are the majority of victims, but that’s not a reason to turn a blind eye to the minority.

“This problem doesn’t belong to the ‘unfortunate ones’… It’s everywhere.”
If you think I suggested otherwise, I’m sorry for the misunderstanding. But, I understand that. Quite frankly, higher class men are more likely to believe they’re entitled to women, so it’s not surprising. They’re also more likely to get away with it. No matter where it happens, it’s an issue of dominance and control, was my main point.

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