Very important relationships in my life have turned to shit lately and I’m not sure what to do.
1. I am on the verge of losing 3 bestfriends because of their relationships with their significant others. Two of them I’m not as upset about losing but one is extremely important to me. We have been friends for atleast 10 years and is the only person that has been through everything with me.
My biggest fear of losing these relationships is being completely alone but is it just inevitable that relationships change and you have to move on Or do relationships have more meaning than that? I have always put so much appreciation and effort into my relationships with other people and I’m questioning if maybe I shouldn’t or is that just selfish and I should keep putting more effort into them? Basically, do I keep fighting for these people in my life or move on and accept and be ok with being alone?
You’re never alone, per se. People change, and consequently relationships are bound to do the same. I empathize that you seem to be drifting apart from your best friends, more so then I do regarding your relationship with your new boyfriend (not sure why really, probably because you had mentioned the relationship seems to not be progressing). A network of friends are important to be able to fall back on in times of need, I say talk to them. Have a heart to heart, communication is paramount. If you’ve known them for around 10 years you should be capable to express how you’re feeling, and how much they mean to you. It shouldn’t be a ‘fight’ to keep these people in your life, relationships are intrinsically natural, organic.
Don’t be so dependent on other. You are more than enough for yourself as you are, alone or not.
Other people come and go, but you always remain, you should be your own best friend. You can’t control other people, they do what feels right to them, you lose friends and you make new friends. That’s how life works. Don’t get so attached to the way it currently is, because it will change.
Feel good instead. Be happy and self-sufficient.
Here’s what you do, you get in touch with that significant other. If you don’t get along then that’s it. We all have the power of loving eachother.
If it’s not working then it’s not something you should follow. You needn’t ever think that you’re gonna be alone anymore. We’re all here, and we’re all your friends.
A-fuckin-men, Manimal! That is the only way to remain sane through stuff like this. All of my comments lately are about this but I just broke up with my cohabitant boyfriend yesterday and it was painful as all hell but today we were able to connect and enjoy each other on a friendship(and even physical) level like we haven’t since we first got to know each other. It made me see the difference between possessive love and pure love. We connect mentally and THAT is what matters, not whether he’s my boyfriend and where our relationship is going and blah blah blah.
@Ellie Not only shouldn’t it be conditional, it CANNOT be conditional. That goes against the laws of nature. Love is never conditional, if there are conditions then it isn’t love. Love is much more than wanting the best for someone, that’s just a thought resulting from love, an expression. Nothing more. Love is so much more than that, it’s the very source of all good feelings.
Love is the good shit… in life. My drug of choice ;)
don’t stress out over it all. do what you feel is right. talk to the people involved about how you feel. if these relationships end, they end. it’s not so bad. it was good while it lasted and you can be happy about that. or it was bad while it lasted and you can be happy that it’s over. either way, i wouldn’t sweat it. friends come and go all the time and you can always get involved with someone new.
Ahhh yes I was hoping to get some wise advice from manimal on this hah
I guess I can’t be happy with others if I can’t be happy by myself
In regards to that last line, amanda: http://youtu.be/k7X7sZzSXYs
@ amanda–kudos to your discussion title! :)
@ Damion: Amen to that, Love is my drug of choice as well.. It’s just so intoxicating that I cant help but want to share it with all others in my general vicinity
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