Release your funny

I was gonna post a gay joke, butt fuck it

Guybrush Threepwood: How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?
Woodchuck: A woodchuck could chuck no amount of wood since a woodchuck couldn’t chuck wood.
Guybrush Threepwood: But if a woodchuck could chuck and would chuck some amount of wood, what amount of wood would a woodchuck chuck?
Woodchuck: Even if a woodchuck could chuck wood, and even if a woodchuck would chuck wood, should a woodchuck chuck wood?
Guybrush Threepwood: A woodchuck should chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood, as long as a woodchuck would chuck wood.
Woodchuck: Oh, shut up!

If sex with two people is called a twosome, and sex with three people is a threesome, well now I know why people keep calling me handsome.

The first dirty joke I learned: There were two kids playing in a sand box, a boy and a girl. The boy flashed the girl his ween and the girl said “I don’t have one of those!!” then ran home to her Mom to ask her what it was. Her Mom said “That’s your garage, and whatever you do don’t let a boy park his car in there!” The little boy ran home to his Dad to ask what he had, his Dad said “That’s your limo, you can park it in any garage you want!” They met back at the sand box to play. Later the little girl ran home crying with a bloody hand. Her Mom asked “What happened?!?!!?” She said “Johnny tried to park his car in my garage so I ripped his back tires off”

Hmm some things about me

I am a Mom, a young one
I am half Native American- Cayuga and Ojibwe
I am a preschool teacher- I went to college for Early Childhood Education
I am not 100% sure what I want my end career to be but I am going to University next year for Child and Family Studies.
A “psychic” told me that I would marry a famous musician that I meet in my twenties and that I would be a well known author and also write songs. =S I don’t think I really believe that.
I pick my thumbs
I once ate twenty-three hot dogs in a contest

There’s a fish swimming in a river, 4 inches above the fish there is a fly. The fish thinks, if that fly drops 4 inches, I’ll have my dinner.
There’s a bear on the shore watching the fish, the bear thinks, if that fly drops 4 inches and the fish goes for the fly, he’ll be in the right place for me to swoop him up, and I’ll have my dinner.
There’s a hunter behind the bear, the hunter thinks, if that fly drops 4 inches and the fish goes for the fly and the bear goes for the fish, I’ll have the perfect shot at the bear, and I’ll have my dinner.
There’s a mouse behind the hunter, the mouse thinks, if that fly drops 4 inches and the fish goes for the fly and the bear goes for the fish and the hunter goes for the bear, that sandwich hanging out of the hunter’s bag will drop, and I’ll have my dinner.
There’s a cat behind the mouse, the cat thinks, if that fly drops 4 inches and the fish goes for the fly and the bear goes for the fish and the hunter goes for the bear and the mouse goes for the sandwich, that mouse will easily be my dinner.
So the inevitable happens, the fly drops 4 inches, the fish goes for the fly, the bear goes for the fish, the hunter goes for the bear, the mouse goes for the sandwich, and the cat pounces at the mouse but completely misses and lands in the river.
The moral of the story: When the fly drops 4 inches, you’ll get a wet pussy.