Running really ow on self confidence and feeling degraded.

3 years, 11 months ago

Hello. I am Prasidh Bhajiawala from India. And I am in real need of help… I was a really bright student and a topper in my studeis till 10th grade… Then some mates in my class suggested some websites to me and I found them to be porn sites. I started enjoying them and masturbating… It became a habbit… It ruined my studies and I even failesd in one of my school exams… My self confidence fell into pieces and has been so since… I have filled myself with negative thoughts and just dont trust myself to get anything right… I am a fatherless child and want to serve my mom with the best in the world but as per my present condition I can’t even dream of that… Please help me by suggesting ways to leave this habbit of masturbating and watching porn sites and to regain my self confidence… I really want to study well, reach a top notch work post, earn the best and help my mom realise her dreams which she could not due to my Dad’s death… Please help me…

May 21, 2011 at 9:53 am

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Profile photo of  Anonymous (@) 3 years, 11 months ago ago

I mean ” LOW ON CONFIDENCE”…

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Profile photo of Adam Mac Adam Mac (@emceedan) 3 years, 11 months ago ago

*edit* Hi prasidh. I apologize for my undue harshness. Paul g has some good stuff there. I would listen to and pursue his line of advice and questioning.

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Profile photo of Michael Michael (@mklrivpwner) 3 years, 11 months ago ago

Adam, don’t be so harsh. I don’t see anything that suggests Prasidh is a troll. Addiction to porn is real.

Unfortunately Prasidh, the only two things I can suggest are therapy and a ‘cyber detox’. Stay away from the internet until you can accept your body as having needs and can get off without porn and you have regained your confidence.

Best of luck.

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Profile photo of Ramo Ramo (@ramo) 3 years, 11 months ago ago

@Adam Mac, Seriously dude, why don’t you find some place else to degrade someone who is just looking for help. Really, just get lost if this is the best you can do. It’s not fucking funny either.

@Prasidh, I really can’t give you any advice, just wanted you to know that Adam’s reply is not representative of this community.

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Profile photo of paul_g paul_g (@paulg) 3 years, 11 months ago ago

hm, i wouldnt ever have considered this is a troll case. but then i tend to be naive sometimes :) anyway, each question deserves an answer:

prasidh, can you explain for us a little what status sexuality and pornography have in your geographic and social “region” in india? what is your guesstimate of how many students your age have seen online pornography before? can you list for us different opinions of belief sentences about (online) pornography different people around you might have and maybe guess how relatively common these views are? what have your own views on (online) pornography been before you first looked at it, and what are they now, i.e., how has this changed your view? if you want: can you give an estimate of how many hours per day you are sitting behind the computer watching porn? do you remember if you had sexual fantasies before the online porn encounter and what they were like? (btw, not only at this point i suggest you do edit our your name of your initial post — if these pages are search-engine indexed, you will have a really hard time finding a job in the future).

do you have other brothers or sisters, older or younger? how and from what age has sexuality been a topic in your family? also, if it were 1920 today and you went by a Freudian drive-through restaurant, you’d probably get served the question to what extent pornography for you unconsciously serves as a provider of orientation in your ever-increasing personal role of being a man when at the same time not having a father to look for guidance in how to be, become, and behave as, a man. thank god it’s not only the 1920s anymore, but still… ok, so far for today :) also consider Michaels advice: if you don’t want it, simply don’t do it. show yourself some will power. but if you do want it and just can’t take the contradiction between desire and belief system, then go on self-exploring.

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Profile photo of Adam Mac Adam Mac (@emceedan) 3 years, 11 months ago ago

Never once have I flamed anyone, ever, Ramo. I have my reasons for thinking it this time. Now if I’m mistaken, I apologize, Prasidh. Truely.

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Profile photo of Em Em (@emily) 3 years, 11 months ago ago

Ooh no.. really you guys? :) Alright you asked for it.. the mom/teacher is coming out! I think we can all learn something here. I missed whatever was said, but….let’s imagine it was the worst most degrating thing on earth. Do we.. a) bounce the negativity back onto them in an attempt to make them feel like shit… or b) respect their reaction & respect them, Ding ding ding! The correct answer is B!!! You speak of love & “we’re all one” in this HE community——well if we’re all one…that includes all the assholes of the world too including Adam (jk man you know I love you). Watch what you say to people in reaction…your negative reaction will NEVER EVER EVER (did I say ever?) be productive!!
With that said… Prasidh, I’m sorry about your situation. Porn’s a bitch huh? You mean to sit down for 5 minutes…2 hours later you feel like big perve scumbag who got nothing done but made their genitals a little sore. I would try to do cyber detox like has been said–I can imagine that being difficult bc you probably need to go on the computer for school. If I were you…I’d make it a point to go ahead & jerk off early in the shower or wherever, without porn. Get the juices out first, then study? I dunno.. good luck :)

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Profile photo of Martin Walsh Martin Walsh (@kakistos) 3 years, 11 months ago ago

Stop pretending.

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Profile photo of mick mick (@micko79) 3 years, 11 months ago ago

I don’t know what to say to this……I believe EM nailed it on the head…..I missed Adam Mac comments {but he sounds like a right wanker anyway)……..When I was a kid “they” told us we would go Blind or Deaf…and/or Hell…..
It’s obiviously about Self-Control…..
Sort it in the Shower man….then have a Cold one & get back to your studies & Focus on the dream job you want so that you can help your Mother…….Plus get your name off the post….
Best of Luck……{stop that Adam Mac this instant….!!}

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Profile photo of Nein Nein Nein Nein Nein Nein (@organicbrain) 3 years, 11 months ago ago

@Adam I agree, this is textbook trollism.

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Profile photo of Em Em (@emily) 3 years, 11 months ago ago

Ok I just want to clarify bc I don’t feel like I was clear enough. I was not refering to Adam MacDaddy as an asshole–by any means. I think Mr. Adam Mac is awesome–he has a heart bigger than the average person & he has a sense of humor that could stop anyone in their tracks. I care a great deal for him. Just as a care a gigantinormous deal for any walking person. This isn’t something I can explain I’m sorry. I care a great deal for Ramo too.. in certain areas..he’s way ahead of me & has said things that made me stop & think & I appreciated it. I also care a great deal for Prasidh.. & I can relate to a lot of what you’re saying. If everyone could throw down their bs ‘justifications’ for feeling anything other than “happy” & “loving” toward each other…we would just have a lot more fun :)

It’s that which makes you have a negative reaction…that I should not address as negative bc then I’m drawing attention to it..you just need to recognize it–& not feed into it…not fall for it.. love everyone no matter what..

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Profile photo of Ramo Ramo (@ramo) 3 years, 11 months ago ago

@Em, wow really? So from my perspective, this is what happened: first somebody asks for help on a very sensitive topic and then I some other guy just flames him right off the bat and I should just keep my mouth shut? I believe it’s my responsibility to speak against negativity. Identifying myself with these kinds of comments because “we’re all one” is ludicrous and as unproductive as it gets.

@Adam, sorry if I jumped on you to quickly. I can understand how one could think that this wasn’t to be taken seriously. It’s just that I get (overly) pissed when I see people opening up only to be ridiculed. Please don’t take it personal, it’s the attitude I didn’t like, it’s not about you really.

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Profile photo of Em Em (@emily) 3 years, 11 months ago ago

Shit Ramo..I..uh..am emotionally exhausted with trying to explain myself :) I always seem to step on someone’s toes :) I don’t think you should’ve kept your mouth shut at all! I just don’t like seeing people who are misunderstanding each other exchanging negative words. You speaking up was awesome & I bet when Prasidh read what you wrote, they felt a lot better… I think you are awesome Ramo. I hope I get to meet you someday in real life. But.. I’m stickin to my guns.. “we’re all one.”

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Profile photo of Adam Mac Adam Mac (@emceedan) 3 years, 11 months ago ago

Glad someone sees it other then me. Thanks mark. To all others – it’s ok. No offense taken. I won’t point out or dissuade troll activity on HE any longer. Much love all

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Profile photo of paul_g paul_g (@paulg) 3 years, 11 months ago ago

i’ve had a challenging day emotionally. it’s way past the middle of the night here. i slept four hours yesterday. still the last thing i do before going to bed is to check up on this thread. i feel happy to be able to read what has happened during the evening. seeing that we are human let’s me know already now that i’ll sleep a more peaceful night than if you all would not be around. take care gals and guys, thanks for being here with me.
p.s. prasidh, you can come back out now if you want :)

Edit: @adam: almost simultaneous :) — i’d love to see your trollism suspicion opinions in the future. maybe it’d be easier if you wrote “i think this is trollism”, but i’d rather have the “fuck” version than none at all…

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Profile photo of PJ Johnson PJ Johnson (@pjjohnson) 3 years, 11 months ago ago

Prasidh, its possible that you are depressed due to life/s stressors( fathers Death) and the sex thing is a symptom of a problem not the problem. We use sex, drugs, food to self medicate ourselves, some of these choices dont help much. If it seems possible you are depressed, and this has been going on for over 6 months, you need help, but if its new, you can try dealling with it yourself. Act happy, be active and maybe you will fool your brain into thinking correctly.. Good luck.

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Profile photo of Ramo Ramo (@ramo) 3 years, 11 months ago ago

@Em, alright I think we’re losing track of the conversation here. I am at least :)
I only meant to say that I think it’s good practice to speak against negative behaviour and I’d like to leave it at that. This is getting far to personal for my taste.

You are all awesome people and yes, we sure as hell are one, and I need to remember that so thank you.

One more thing, I’m not ahead of you. Sometimes there is a moment of clarity and I manage to type up something that sounds true. However, I learn as much from it as anyone else and sometimes I myself am utterly surprised by what comes out. Furthermore: you ask the right questions which is far more valuable than pretending to have an answer.

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Profile photo of mick mick (@micko79) 3 years, 11 months ago ago

Good genuine help there from PJ Johnson….good on you….

To others What is this Trollism thingy….??

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Profile photo of Michael Michael (@mklrivpwner) 3 years, 11 months ago ago

Trolling is posting falsified or misleading information with the sole intent of inciting argument. Usually by means of replying to already emotionally charged threads with Strawman arguments, dogmatic phrases, or misquoting another poster’s comment out of context.

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Profile photo of  Anonymous (@) 1 year, 8 months ago ago

gh

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