Self-improvement = being selfish
@jacuzzi, Just because we never reach a point that we are “complete” doesn’t mean that we shouldn’t try to get there. It is a point that we can get close to, but never get there. We can never get there, because it doesn’t exist. There is no “completeness”, no “perfect self that you have to discover”.
Once we learn that there is nothing that we have to be, we can begin the true journey of creating ourselves. I think that most people are at this stage when they say that they’re “finding themselves”. They are trying to decide the type of person that they are, trying to decide what their core values and beliefs are. And you can’t find something, unless you go looking for it, hence the term “finding yourself”.
@jacuzzi I do not think so. Self improvement doesn’t mean being selfish. İt is said that What we have done for ourselves alone dies with us; what we have done for others and the world remains and is immortal.So If people improve their self for social benefit, for other people, and that doesn’t mean being selfish.
@selcukyildiz, What you do for others dies with them, so at most you’re preserving a legacy you have no conscious enjoyment of for an extra 80 years or so.
@xyver, You can most certainly find something without looking for it, in fact in this case I would prescribe anyone looking to truly find themselves to stop looking, so that they might one day realize that they are living as the person they once endeavored to find!
Is it possible to present oneself as a gift of positive influence- complete, whole, controlled, available, and capable enough to take on the responsibility of helping carry another persons load- if you haven’t taken the time make yourself, first? If we have neither taken the time nor showed any intererest in really getting to know OURSELVES, test ourselves with experience, first- for all our insecurities, weaknesses, pet-peeves, control drama’s, irrationalties, ethics, morality, comfortabilities, streangths, natural affinities, etc… to know how we react, how we “tick”, and understand our personal mixture of kR@zy- well, how can we present ourselves to anyonee else, or expect to understand THEM? Our’s is a reality of un-known potential, and innumerable possibilitiy, diminishing our in-born ignorance of an infinate un-known, with explorations trough interactions of external stimuli. Everything we will ever become, will be attained largely through trial and error. Moreover, as beings aware of self, conscious of our individuality, and gradually developing confidence in excersing free-will, the plane of possibility becomes increasingly clear as we, ourselves, progress toward our complete independance. In the over-all scope, it’s honesty with ourselves that must first be established; yes, over-all, we generally expect to one day find our constant, solid, entrusted companion with whom to share the journey all the way till we reach our destination. Maybe that partner is in your life already, and you just gotta get THEM to see it to lol… but otherwise, in the meantime… we interact, we converse and question, and convey, we live vicariously through each other and continue our developement with every passing moment. A man in solitary looses sanity; an infant denied physical touch and interaction will die. People NEED people in order to thrive, to grow, to be challenged, to work together, to inspire and encourage and working toward manifesting shared passions, into reality. Not all collaborations, conversations, alliances, or relationships, is meant to stand stand the test of time. Not everyone we meet will remain in our lives. This individual exploration of being ALIVE will take us all down different paths. We may bump into them again later down the line, but if the destinations and goals are not shared, we will, eventually, have to part ways on reaching the fork in the road, and continue toward our personal completion, alone. Every one-on-one interaction we encounter, is a relationship established: as repeced aquaintances, as friends, as partners-in-naughty, as lovers, as temporary-alliances of singular pursuit- each individual we connect with introduces a new element to our life-table; the dynamics that we generate with each personal, individual interaction, is unique to that combination, and thus, irreplaceable. It doesn’t matter how much they resemble someone… no-one can ever re-create harmonies we enjoyed with the people we miss. In the end, honesty really is the best policy. We are all in different stages of our personal journey, but there are always options and opportunities: meet and converse with brand new fellow travelers… explore the detours, shortcuts and waterfalls… or find the more scenic path-with-the-view… or, combine all of the above for maximum enjoyment, so long as every-one is aware of what they are signing up for and working with, the sky’s the limit.
@jacuzzi, In order to change other people into a better direction first you need to be in one. You need to be knowledgeable/have experience of the way you are proposing and only then you can change somebody or the whole country. So selfish(in means of improvement) is the start of where you can try to help others. Many politicians fail to do good because they don’t even know the way or have seen one with their own eyes.
Before you can effectively make others happy, you need to be happy with who you are. Because of this, self improvement is quite the opposite of selfishness.
If I’m not happy with who I am, I’m not going to help others. It’s not because I wouldn’t want to, but because I wouldn’t know how to. How can I show compassion towards others while not sparing any for myself? And it’s not as if kindness is limited… I just think it needs to start with yourself.
What comes to mind for me with this topic is relationships. If a person isn’t happy with herself, any romantic relationship she enters will be utterly dependent on her partner. You can’t depend on others to make you happy, and by not making an effort to make yourself happy and healthy, you become a drag and unwanted burden on others’ shoulders.
It’s important to achieve happiness for yourself so you can share that with others.
give give give. and expect nothing in return.
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