Call me crazy or weird, but in my life thus far I’ve noticed that I cannot get turned on by a girl (even if I find her very physically attractive) if:
a) I cannot connect with her emotionally and I don’t genuinely appreciate or admire something about her personality, values and traits.
b) There’s not enough sexual tension built up, or
c) I put pressure on myself and get anxious
1. Anyone have similar realizations or comments?
2. If you’ve had memorable sexual experiences, what are your insights on what make it great?
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@Ellie I appreciate the female perspective and I might actually try meditation..
@Manimal I did try to enjoy the moment and wasn’t thinking about it until she said she wanted me to start and I couldn’t. The problem may be deeper..
@Bryan the foreplay was one way and so I had to ask her for help and actually guide her hand cause she was so bad at it :-/
I’m not so sure about the rest, but for me, choice “a” is definitely true. Regardless of physical attraction, I could not really be turned on by someone grounded in reality, in fact, I’d be more than a little turned off.
@Jack I’m glad you like it. And the more you keep that mindset and take action that’s congruent with it, it will just keep getting better and better. Positive feedback loop. Just remember, you’re awesome and this world is your playground, there is nothing worth feeling bad over.
Actually here’s details I left out (if interested):
After having her help me and me guiding her, I was able to get hard. But the moment I put on a condom and she tried to jump on, my buddy lost the excitement.
I’m thinking it definitely must be subconscious but I can’t put my finger on what it is..