Social Anxiety and LSD..help
I have been suffering from what I feel to be extreme social anxiety for the better part of the year. I really have no idea what caused it; I feel it might be from a constant self-demeaning talk that seemed to flood my mind every time I smoked weed. I no longer smoke, but the anxious feeling seems to still run my life. When I dwell on the problem, I tend to get mad at myself which doesn’t make the situation any better. I’ve been to a doctor, but I rather not pop a pill to try and relieve myself. Through some research, I have found that in some cases a good trip can help bring light such a problem. In my eyes, there I really one way to fix what is going on and that is to face my demons head on. Has anyone experienced any aid when tripping and facing the ego? Is there a way I can finally lay these debilitating feelings to rest?
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Keep heart young brothers, the best is yet to come. The synchronicity is flowing tonight and it’s making me smile very happily. I was looking for a movie to watch while my bread is rising, and somehow ended up at this thread. I cannot advise you what to do, but I will share my story with you (including my real name). You can see what resonates and what doesn’t.
Great peace and power to you both.
There was a time in my life, when I was an anxious wreck. I felt I was not good enough, I was concerned about my appearance, etc. I did not enjoy weed and I was too self-conscious to express myself creatively or honestly.
One night, I tripped on 1.5 tabs of LSD with three virtually unknown friends, at a suburban home, listening to techno and talking about physics. I had taken mushrooms and acid before, so I was bold and expected to be able to “handle myself”, but the time and place had come together for an LSD ass-kicking. For 15 hours, I was practically unable to talk. I writhed in introspective silence. My thought was circular and seemingly mundane. I felt hollow.
The next morning, I found myself on my own, crying in the sun while Thom Yorke played inside. I called each of my closest friends and family in turn, and apologized for “being a cunt” (mother and father included).
The image I received was of my self, surrounded by a large, shiny, outer shell. The shell was my ego, my pride, my self-consciousness, which repelled people and prevented any closeness. My friends of the previous months were nasty, unfriendly people, and this trip told me I needed to change. I considered it a complete ego-death, a shattering of self which required rebuilding from scratch.
The after-effects of a trip reveal much of its medicinal value, and this one prompted a chain of events which sent me further down the rabbit hole. Each occasion was as momentous as the first ego death, gradually shattering another part of my bourgeois, capitalist, private school closed-mindedness. Each time was painful and shocking, like hitting reset and losing all saved data. All certainty was removed, tears in the fabric, doubts and fears. But I found that Fight Club was right: Losing All Hope Was Freedom.
I began to enjoy the dynamic opportunities of ego death. Society at large values stability, predictability, mechanical behaviour and thought. But for the curious, the intellectual, the dreamers, the artists, the thinkers, and the knowers, this is an uncomfortable fit. The Ego is the static state of self, a projected image shaped by expectation. It does not represent the unity consciousness of our universal self. The Ego casts humans as machines, capitalist automata, cogs in the mechanism of the static State, the static state, dah. Schools, hospitals, prisons, whatever, it’s all the same shit. Break contract with your critics! Abandon State expectations! When the projection fades, your true self can grow in whatever form you and the universe provide.
Oh yes, I had learnt the technique of Metamorphosis. Now I can change with the wind.
A few months later, I Occupied my heart on Wall Street. Amongst the unquantifiable, inexplicable energy of the drums, reverberating from the glass windows of banks, all notions of political affiliation, partisan politics, government, economy, and education were forever exploded. I stayed in school (mostly), but I knew what they didn’t know… that there was another way.
Then I met my beautiful kindred sister who introduced me to feminism. Already in the pits, and giving my heart to activism, it was hard to hear or understand that as a man I was also an oppressor. Another ego death, and a complete restructuring of all social understandings.
And another one: Home in Australia over summer, I crashed my car in a write-off. Three days later in Arizona, my girl crashes her (our) car in a write-off. Both of us spun out one time over opposing lanes of traffic, and crashed onto other side of road. Both of us were unhurt. At this point I no longer felt any fear.. barely even surprise. My ego was dim. The universe flowed strongly through my veins. I salute you, Mother Nature, I honour you, and I love you.
Since that day, my Ego has been shattered, but I work every day at keeping it that way. The nasty, competetive, and fearful society in which we live encourages a build-up of Ego. It is a barrier to the ongoing physical and psychological attacks, like nervous parents, competetive peers, sirens, mass transit, surveillance, propaganda, etc.
Plants or chemicals can also form a barrier from these attacks. Tobacco, cannabis, alcohol (hops, grapes, barley), amphetamines (anti-depressants like Adderall, Ritalin, and also cocaine), Xanex (poison), LSD, mushrooms.. they are all medicines. Tribal people call them gods, our civilization calls them spirits (scotch, vodka, etc.).
Taking something is a lifeline to another world, reminding us that there are other realities. Each world has its own character and possibilities, shaped by our circumstances, experiences, declarations, and desires. These medicines do different things for different people, which is why pharmaceuticals are clinically ineffective. For example, weed makes you anxious and self-demeaning, whereas weed makes me calm and energized (I’m currently taking a break to cleanse the system after a big solstice).
It’s never sure to say which are good and which are bad to take. My general vibe is to stick to things which grow from the ground. Psychedelics can be quite sensitive to the intentions of their creators, and I trust Mother Earth the most. Be aware that acid is usually made in a university or government lab. I think you can’t go too wrong if you stay natural. If you like, try something like mushrooms, peyote, hawaiian woodrose, or morning glory.
And the last thing,
YOU are powerful, YOU are God, YOU are sovereign over your own existence and experience.
Fuck knows if any of that makes sense.
Give me a fuckn call if you wanna chat about this sh’neat. Just fo real get Google phone and hit up 0410338909 in Australia. Life is too short to keep this knowledge secret, and I don’t like to see smart young kids feelin bad about themselves because of some crackers calling what’s cool. I am 22 y.o. multi-continental traveller student, multi-lingual, much experience with psychs, zero expectations and always open ears.
∞ HUH! Fist of power.
My bread is ready now.
>>> bonus! if you can get down with this song you will feel no more anxiety!
I took 3x the reccomended dose (not on purpose!) of something called 25C. I was going through a significant identity crisis at the time, and regardless on how hard I tripped, I emerged a new person, one who knew who they were in the entirety.
My ego was disassembled, faster than I could even realise and I realised my true insignificance to the universe. And why I need to try.
In essence, yes. It will help you by placing you in a completely different perspective and you’ll realise the ridiculousness of self demeaning talk and rise above it. Do it.
I used to suffer from SA…deep inside me i knew psychedelics would “fix” me..and they did. Well, they showed me the way that is….the hard work had to be done by me.
Anyway, tried both mushrooms/lsd(i consider it the same thing really for the intended purpose) and mdma. I felt mdma helped me the most when i was at my lowest.It dissolved all my fears, showed me what life is really about, and i never looked back since then.Mushrooms/lsd can also be of great help depending on the person…i would advice you to try what feels right for you.
Definately do not take the pills the doctor gave to you, useless chemicals that face the symptoms and not the source. You will feel and actually be much stronger if you go through this situations without taking any ssri’s or benszos
@aceto1, I would recommend not taking the pill, others with social anxiety have taken them and while they release you from anxiety, they break you away other spectrums of emotions as well (considering what was prescribed.) If you do decided to trip, you may discover releveltory and profound insights about your current status in many realms of life, some will be a pleasant surprise, while some may be cripplingly debiltiating, but you have a stong chance of overcoming whatever was holding you back prior to the trip and becoming a better person. I would not do LSD your first time as it can rather harsh and unforgiving in my experince at least, mushrooms on the other hand are gentle and work for you while you struggle with your troubles.
I suffered from some social anxiety (admittedly, not extreme) I discovered the following truths
It is impossible to know what others are thinking about you.
Social anxiety makes you judge yourself (you are causing yourself to worry, no one else is).
If you act by a set of values you truly believe in, you never have a reason to be anxious.
Since, I do not worry about social situations. I pity those who judge others, and also pity those who lie to appeal to the judges. Do what you believe is right and there is no reason to worry :)
I dont know if I realy suffer from SA…Some times i am realy afraid of being judged by other people and that makes me dont doing things for no real reason BUT other times i dont even care! I ve tried lsd twice (not for this reason) , when i took it first i was anxious about not showing to my people that i took it but when i felt “comfort” it was awsome! Now i m thinking that it could help me if i try it again , but in combination with a personal work!
@aceto1, I would say yes, tripping done in a safe environment could help you. If you don’t already know about LSD then do your research first. Plan your trip way in advance and make sure you know what youre getting into.
On the other hand, social anxiety can be solved by other means so don’t immediately look to LSD. Maybe a lifestyle change will help. Something as simple as going to the gym more often, or eating fruits, or meditating. I think meditating would be an excellent solution for your problem as well. Seriously try a guided meditation.
I myself have what you could call social anxiety.I have tripped about 4 times. I wouldn’t say I’ve made any progress against social anxiety through tripping but it has allowed me to understand social situations in a new light. That might be because I haven’t focused my trips on purely social anxiety.
LSD can be a powerful lifechanging substance. But its not the only solution. Best of luck to you.
@aceto1, Hey man, I have moderate anxiety most of the time – and I have found that an LSD trip, even a light to moderate one, is very beneficial as an anxiolytic. For me, after I trip, my anxiety will be reduced almost to nothing for the weeks following the trip. It will slowly come back over a period of several months, but it has been a great side effect of tripping for me.
I’m no scientist or Dr. but these anxiolytic effects seem to be medicinal rather than psychological. It’s not like I’m tripping balls, having ego death, and having a psychological response where I am aware that my anxieties are caused by myself and my thoughts and thus an acid trip acts like some sort of therapy. It may be a tiny bit of this, but mostly it just seems to be an anxiolytic mechanism of the LSD. I say this because the anxiolytic effects occur no matter if it’s a small dose that doesn’t cause ego death/super introspective tripping.
Disclaimer: This could just be an individual reaction, but I would be curious to see whether LSD affects anyone else with this anxiolytic side effect that last several weeks/months.
@aceto1, @conorq, In order of my recommendations;
1. Alcohol (Hear me out)
This is very easy to obtain, its legal, you can do it yourself. IF you are a person who knows some social drinkers, ask them to drink with you, or ask if they want to go out. Alcohol IS the cure to social anxiety, but you need to USE it, there are no miracle cures with psychological ‘problems’ (not really problems, just things we want changed).
Alcohol really allowed me to overcome my social anxiety because at one point I was about 3 drinks in and not drunk at all, but acting as if I had zero inhibitions. It suddenly occured to me that I was not drunk, and that I had simply done it on my own – just the FEEL of alcohol in the slightest amount allowed me to ‘get there’. This realization made me say “HEY! I don’t need anything to be who I want to be.”
This is difficult, it can be dangerous, and it absolutely REQUIRES you to be in a good mood (doesn’t matter how shy you are) to work.
2. MDMA this will act much the same as alcohol, you will see your fears drip away and realize that inside of you, there is this outgoing, vocal person who can and will do what they want when they want. That you have a power-house of confidence. Again, you need to plan this, work on it before hand, and concentrate on it while taking this drug.
3. Mescaline (higher dose) – Harder to obtain, but if it were easy it would be #1 recommendation. Mescaline has the good feelings of MDMA without the incredible energy and ridiculousness that is accomodated, but it ALSO has the psychedelic nature of LSD and psilocybin. As others have said before, these drugs will basically take the veil away from your eyes and allow you to see yourself and reality in a new perspective, making it very easy to identify what to work on, and what exactly the problem is stemming from.
4. LSD & Psilocybin. I put these last because although they can be incredibly transformative, doing them alone (group is much better, or with a sitter) can be something to concern yourself with, since they aren’t as euphoric as the other substances listed, they are much stronger if the ball gets rolling the wrong way. Its kind of a catch 22, because nobody wants to subject you to this possibility before tripping, but its important to know.
If you can take these (and mescaline and MDMA) please ask for a trip-sitter, or do them with trusted friends.
The LSD,can open your mind, it can changes the rules of the game, and it can make you no longer think in function of sex or future or anything established, you can see the things by its nature.
but thats not always what it does, it can also elevete your fantasies, or your fears, i think that in your case it might power your anxiety and you can have a really bad trip,
i recomend you to take the pills the doctor sended to you, cuz it seems that ingest drugs is not what makes you nervous, beacause i tell you by expirence that they can really work,
if you want to do LSD try to make it the best of the expiriences, i mean surounded by people that dont make you anxious, and when you are in inner peace
All in all, these substances will only highlight the problem, then it takes conscious (And some subconscious) action to work on how to change it.
They can kind of be viewed as thermal vision for a heat leak in your temple. They’ll allow you to see where the problems at, and with some thought after finding it and examining it, you’ll know how to repair it (or change it).
@aceto1, @conorq, i think there are many perspectives. but in my opinion is yes. from my perspective and understanding of the ego a good solid trip is a great thing. while tripping is fun and a worthwhile experience, it is always a better route to making these changes within yourself. you can always change yourself. fuck pills! a shift in consciousness is a great way to get a different perspective if you are stuck.
‘the problem is not the problem. the problem is your attitude about the problem. do you understand?’
i always have a better time when i am already in a liberated state of mind so i usually wait until i get my shit figured out before i plan a trip. having something to look forward to is great motivation :) i have found that tripping medicinally is also powerful. theres no such thing as a bad trip, some of my most intense experiences were the most growing and profound, i faced some of my bigger demons this way in a ‘bad’ trip but was later accepted. it will kind of force you to learn what your anxieties are telling you about yourself.
my philosophy is that psychs ‘attack’ your ego, or sense of ‘self’ that you learned to identify with. this is important because you need to make sure to take a large enough dose. i would suggest start with shrooms. 2 grams minimum to have a full blown experience that cracks open the ego completely.
warning: with too small of a dose the ego will fight back to survive and be strengthened. this will manifest as anxiety and tension lasting long after the trip. ever have times you smoke weed but your head just feels dull? nothing special? makes the shit your stressing about worse? this is a good sign that your ego is dense and weighing down on you. this is the kind of thing that causes social anxiety.
now remember times that you smoke and its a blast, you can laugh freely and have fun. you experience liberation from the ego. weed is a great tool for this also, this gives you an idea what to expect from other psychs but on a much more intense level.
a solid ego ‘collapse’ will connect you to your true self, you remember your sense that which is connected to everything. a much greater perspective than the ego’s sense of separation and fear. your brain will have a great opportunity to rewire itself, any mental problems can be completely left behind, a ‘new’ brain. you can actually feel your brain healing during the trip, warm sensations cleaning out all the clutter as you think about how there is nothing to be afraid of, everything is perfect, one.
this is my perspective on the ego and tripping. hope it helps.
There are a few things to take into consideration. Most importantly is to try and figure out what could be causing the anxiety to begin with. Most people have a healthy level of social anxiety. Sometimes thinking it’s abnormal to be socially anxious can even make it worse. One of the reasons alcohol is so popular in our culture is because it helps to eliminate social anxiety. BUT BE AWARE, this is not a method I recommend. Alcohol is more danger than it’s worth in my opinion. It’s sort of like a Trojan horse. It can easily make your life hell even if you are responsible with it. Months are typically needed to recover after you discover you have a problem.
But, your question was if LSD can help. The only thing I feel it will do is help you understand that everyone is socially anxious and it’s normal and to accept that about yourself. My experience with psychedelics number around 100 sessions, if not more. Some people would disagree with me, but I feel that psychedelics are ultimately not meant to be used as a recreational toy. It took me a few years to learn this and though not a regret, definitely not something I would do over again.
Good luck with your anxiety. It is one of the strangest parts about living. Again, everyone experiences social anxiety, some are just better at hiding it than others. (And some are alcoholics. Now I bet seeing a bar on nearly every street corner makes a lot more sense.)