Hey guys :) I just joined the HE community and I couldn’t be happier about discovering this site. I’m writing today for some advice on my new life that’s about to begin in 2 weeks. I’m moving to Los Angeles for college and I want to start a new, healthy, fulfilling lifestyle. I want to take FULL advantage of these 4 years. I don’t wana leave anything out. Basically, I want to learn how to live life to its fullest and start working on improving myself.
My aim is to find what I’m passionate about and what is going to inspire me and help me inspire others throughout my life (though I know this changes and progresses).
Also, I want to take on new things, challenge myself and my body (you never know when you can never use your legs again), build a character and find myself.
Not the easiest mission on planet earth, but I’m young, full of energy and ready for life! :D
Open to ANY advice, be it crazy or introspective, shoot!
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I don’t think you even need advice at this stage of your life, you sound as excited as I was before moving off to college, and as long as you keep that mindset, prepare yourself for life to really begin. The range of people you meet is amazing.
@mjayne Gotcha, thx. Although, expectations is a whole other topic that deserves its own thread. It’s been working on me lately, should we have high expectations and take the risk of being deceived? If not, how do we cope with the loss of excitement that comes with letting go of those high expectations?
@lytning91 Thanks for the advice, I was planning on doing just that :)
@chadvice Hahahahha nice one! You’re right though, I know what I want from my college experience (the big picture at least), I guess i’m just scared I won’t meet the right people that’ll help me fulfill it. I’ve heard SO many stories of my brother’s friends (who’ve already graduated) telling me they’d wished their four years had gone the way they’d wanted it, but that despite their initial disappointment, they still managed to have an awesome time. Even my friends who just finished their freshmen year have said that it’s been OK.
See, I don’t want OK, and I don’t plan on having OK but I guess im just a little nervous. Comes back to what I said to @mjayne about expectations.
@eyesopen I like the “sacrifice sleep for everything else” part :p unfortunately I need my dose of sleep to be “here”. Otherwise I look like a zombie. But then again, whoever decided that zombie’s look disgusting?? Hahaha. Thank you though :)
@lytning91, I meant to say, If you wish to continue a conversation about other people unrelated to the topic of this forum then it would be more respectful to all involved to conduct it elsewhere instead of polluting this forum which unrelated crap.
What I was referring to was the relationship and interactions between the two people and how they played off of each other and reacted to each other’s posts.
BTW, you didnt use at @mjayne mention so I didn’t know this was here.
I also meant that if you were interested in talking you could PM me but that I wasn’t trying to push you to PM me as it isnt of grave importance. . .just casual curiosity if the interest was mutual.
@yasmine, How I personally see it (in regard to expectations) is this:
You should have REALISTIC, or at least Pesimistic if you have to choose an extreme, EXPECTATIONS. -And you should maintain IDEALISTIC preferences, goals, and dreams.
You should EXPECT things to go realistically, or worse than you think is reasonable so that you are planning for reality and dont get caught unprepared because you have unrealistic expectations that nobody and nothing can be expected to live up to. Being in touch with reality is important and if you at least have pesimistic expectations, you may not be in touch with reality but you are much more likely to be wrong in a good way by being TOO PREPARED or by getting more than you were expecting out of life or a certain situation.
With that said, you should strive for the best. Having high expectations is only setting yourself up to fail because you are literally expecting to get something you know you probably wont get. Statistically fucking yourself over. Those ‘high expectations’ though, can be turned into a motivation to MAKE those which are unreasonable, reasonable. You can’t expect the best to happen, but you can take steps to make it happen and because of that you can meet your high goals and dreams without having unrealistic expectations that are just. . .unattainable.
With your college thing. If you go into it with the high expectation that everything is going to be AMAZING and that it will be like a dream come true of perfection. . .but then you don’t talk to anyone unless they talk to you first, don’t join any clubs or check out different groups where people get together, and focus on how nothing is the way you hoped it would be. . .then it will all fucking suck, right? But if you go into it with REALISTIC expectations and then find that your college experience is lacking from where you WANT it to be then you can make changes and move towards making things better. If you expect it to all just happen ‘right’ you will be disappointing, but if you know what you’re getting into and you take the right approach you can alter your situation so that those formally ‘high’ expectations actually become the realistic expectations.
Sorry, I don’t have time to make that shorter as I’m packing right now as well as typing.
Hopefully it made some sort of sense?
Talk to EVERYONE and ANYONE.
Dont let it get in the way of other things, but make the effort to be interested in people and make connections. College is full of interesting people and you can learn things from EVERYONE even if they arent people youd want to party with on the weekend or chill out with when it rains. Everyone has something you can get out of them.
Do all of the crazy shit. Have fun.
Dont do anything that doesnt make you happy and dont waste your time with the stuff that doesnt. If someone wants to go out at 5am and do something awesome GO OUT AT 5AM and take responsibility for it. Dont be afraid to take risks and be crazy but dont be an idiot about it. Accept the potential consequences of your actions. If you know you have an important test the next day and you know that you wont be able to wake up in time then find a way to work it out or dont go. Its pretty simple that way.
If you arent willing to accept the potential consequences dont do it, otherwise go nuts.
Dont just hang out with people in your classes or where you live (if youre in housing) or go to the events and places people you know are going to. People are everywhere and the best things can come from unexpected places. Dont be afraid to do things on your own or stay in when you feel like it.
If something matters to you now (like your family) dont neglect it once youre away from home. Its easy to ‘get busy’ and to ‘not be able to find the time’ but you have to make the time for the things that are important in life or they wont end up still in it.
And of course, dont get pregnant.
@yasmine, I’m so glad to hear someone with this perspective. I am just finishing my 4-year degree and have only started realizing how much more I could have gotten out of the university experience now.
If given the opportunity, I would recommend studying abroad. My University has an international exchange program and one of my friends just got back from South Korea after a year of studying there. He had only good things to say about it and it seems to have given him an interesting perspective by being so involved in another culture.
Also, I would recommend a philosophy course if you are able to take it. The few I took questioned the idea of if we really exist at this moment in time and it was VERY interesting.
I appreciate the insight of your remark: “you never know when you can never use your legs again”. If only the general population thought this way…
@lytning91, Lol amusing assessment.
I wouldnt call what he does ‘tough love’. . .there are better words to use. lol
What was amusing was wherever that person was who said ‘Dont call me master, Im just like you’. Dont remember where it was in here. . .seen it?
Since youre so fond of @beyond Id be interested to hear your thoughts on the twosome but if you feel like sharing msg me. Dont pollute the page here.
Wait…what? No….at least I think no is my response.
I just wanted to know what you meant by “the two-some.”
You asked me to PM you about the two-some but I didn’t catch what you meant…so I was asking for a rephrase so maybe I could understand.
@yasmine, Youre welcome (: The biggest reason people fall short of their own expectations is because of the limitations theyve imposed upon themselves. Anything is possible, if youre willing to figure it out and make it happen. Dont make excuses for selling yourself short (:
Back to the thread:
WELCOME. I think in even writing this post you have already expressed that which will define your new experience. You already know what you feel like you want to do and you are simply looking for specifics (information and experiences) to add to it to make it “real.” If that is the case then you’re in the right place. Read the blogs that interest you, watch videos, share thoughts, discuss, read discussions that seem interesting all the way to the end, even if people argue about other stuff ^^^. Cuz even in reading what those people say you learn about the thought processes, life experiences, and argument styles of other inquisitive people like yourself. So through them you can learn about yourself, share, and eventually help others do the same.
Stir the pot @yasmine The stews abrewin’ haha
And as for your actual post, I’d say socializing is a big deal. The more you put yourself out there the better a chance you have of making strong connections that can, in turn, propel you forward.
Aside from that, never lose site of yourself and your past. Gain from all experiences and use that fuel to keep you strong and centered. People are naturally attracted to those who are really in-touch with who they are and where they want to go
Take your academics seriously (read supplementary material, do more than necessary) and find a way to get interested in everything you’re studying. Once you’re interested the effort comes naturally. Take a broad variety of classes in your first and second year to find out where your interests lie, and join a lot of clubs for the same reason.
stay busy, sacrifice sleep for everything else, hang out with different people, have an awesome time.