stuck in a hamster wheel
Are they parallel? Perpendicular? Are they even lines? I constantly hear stuff like, “Money doesn’t buy happiness.” but then when I think about what makes me happy, money is a major ingredient. Traveling freely on your own time requires money. Surfing somewhere that you cant walk to, requires money. Visiting another country, beer, weed, friends, food, water, shit even LIVING requires money anymore. Im waiting for the day Ill be taxed for breathing.. Its not the money I am against, its the profiting from peoples misfortunes that I can’t do. I feel there is no way you can have a lot of money without ripping someone else off. I know that you can make money doing what you love, and I am a firm believer in that. The only thing is, I don’t love just ONE thing enough to do ONLY that FOREVER. One day I love writing, one day I love skateboarding, one day I love traveling, the next I love building things, then maybe the next I love photography and painting, and my guitar..I love just about everything, with the exception of working for someone. The fact that people give away their lives, and time with their family,friends, and hobbies, so some rich guy they work for can make his boat payment and go fishing in the gulf. Having a job just sounds plain absurd to me. Even the idea of a career seems insane to me. As lazy and stupid as it sounds. Im not lazy. I have always been a top “employee” (sick 34 cent raises!), getting managerial positions.. not because I wanted a raise, but because I took pride in everything I did. But after seeing how the workforce is run, I don’t want any part of it anymore. The more I try to disconnect with this materialistic society, the more it tries to suck me back in to the black hole. I try to have as little attachments as possible. I don’t have a credit card, my jeep is paid for, I am staying with family, so I don’t have rent or any of that stuff anymore. My only expenses to society now are my car insurance, and cell phone payment. Yet, I still feel like I am trapped in this cycle and don’t see any way out.
Any directions out of this would be appreciated.
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Sounds like you’re at least better off than 90% of other people, for realizing that finding that perfect pair of shoes isn’t the key to eternal happiness.
How do you mean it sucks you back in? Who’s forcing you to buy things? You’re right that businesses operate to make profits and the world does tend to operate based on monetary transactions. I guess all you can do it live as inexpensively/off the grid as possible (which sounds like you’re doing) and use your free time to try and monetize a hobby…not to get rich, but to provide that base level of income to buy food and shelter.
Remember having low expenses allows you to travel and take odd jobs along the way, other people with large fixed payments can’t take those jobs as surf instructors or wedding photographers since they have a huge monthly payment to make.
I th@paperbackchef, I think I suck myself back in by questioning myself. By allowing other peoples’ opinions to affect my thoughts. For one thing, my family thinks I’m some kind of hippie/gypsy/stoner.. Just one example: because I don’t eat the same garbage, processed shit they eat, I am looked at like a Buddhist monk or something. I try not to even share my eating habits with them just because they think I’m a crazy conspiracist out to destroy biscuits and gravy. And their ways of eating 4000+ calories a day is normal. That taking pills for easily avoidable and reversible illnesses is the right way to live. That I should worry about republicans and democrats. That I should obey all authoritative figures. That what a doctor says, may as well be God spoken. Everything I do and everything I think, is different from my family/friends. All values and ideas are different. I guess sometimes I allow the question, “Maybe they are right, and Im just crazy.” in my head too often. Even when I KNOW the answer.
Damn, I wish my family realized I’m trying to be a hippie/gypsy! Let them think that, what does it matter to you?
When you show up enough times with a huge grin on your face, photos from your travels, and stories about experiences they’ve never thought to try, who will be happier? I do the same thing with my family, and they’re finally started to say “ya know, you do some pretty cool stuff.” Give it time, but don’t compromise your ideals.
Just read something good on postmasculine about Stoicism regarding other people’s opinions of you. Basically:
1) Do you respect the person or agree with their ideas?
2) Do they disagree with your ideas?
If you answered “no” to #1, then it’s GOOD that people (your family for example) disagree with you. That means you’re doing something RIGHT. Imagine if they agreed with your lifestyle choice? Then you’d be just like them.