Tell us about yourself.

@Shelby
your story makes me shudder. you are such an incredibly strong being. how much you have gone thru and the determination courage and love you have shown to those around you put you in my mind in a catagory of its own. please dont let this grieving make you weak now, or let you slide into something like drugs or alcohol to ease the pain of it all. of course you are feeling that pain now, so just feel it and let it bleed, and let it heal. and go on.
your family should be very proud of you to be the one who cared for them so much, and i think it is people like you who will save this world.
as for my story it is a long long tale, and now im gonna go save the world just a little bit also by going out to dig in my vegie garden and plant my baby tomatoes out. love to all of you! and lets hear more stories. each of us has an incredible tale to tell, and a big part to play. i promise to tell mine soon, and believe me it ranks in there with the wirdest of tales!

I’ve lived and grew up in the suburbs for most of my life, and been neither rich nor poor, I mean, I’ve never had tons of money to burn but neither have I ever gone hungry or not had a roof over my head. I don’t really classify myself as any particular type of person, because I like little bits and pieces of a lot of different things, even ones that contradict each other sometimes. I was pretty shy for most of my life, probably because I didn’t relate to other people my age for a long time. My guess is that my interests developed more slowly than most people, being an adult never really had any appeal for me while most of the other kids growing up always seemed to want to act older than they were, I was still watching cartoons and playing with LEGO’s while other people were smoking weed or doing who knows what, and to me that was just fine as I was in no hurry to grow up and shed my innocent views. Also I didn’t really have friends for a while, it wasn’t until late high school and after that I even started hanging out with other folks my age a lot. I guess I was always kind of an outsider, though there were only a handful of people that ever went out of their way to make me feel unwelcome. I was/still am a huge Star Wars, Lord of the Rings, and Transformers fan, and I enjoy reading books in general, in particular things like fiction and history. Because I didn’t talk to a lot of people in high school and didn’t have the internet til college, I didn’t develop my musical tastes until then but I’m glad I did, as it gives my life a new kind of energy I was lacking. Unfortunately, I wasn’t born with any particular talents so I never knew what to do with myself, and for the longest time I thought being creative was one of those things that you had to be born with, so I never bothered with it and got a business degree thinking it would at least lead to a comfortable, if boring, life, only to realize that being a cubicle jockey isn’t me at all and I started to question the idea that adulthood necessarily had to be dull. In recent years I’ve become more interested in some things I didn’t think about before, such as actively trying to stop being shy, and psychedelics. I’m still trying to break away from the left-brain indoctrination I’ve had, while trying to learn guitar, write my own sci fi epic, but I’m having a hard time believing I can change into this new creative person. I guess “late bloomer” is the story of my life.

The details of my life are quite inconsequential … Very well, where do I begin? My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low-grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a 15-year-old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. My father would womanize; he would drink. He would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Sometimes, he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy. The sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament … My childhood was typical: summers in Rangoon … luge lessons … In the spring, we’d make meat helmets … When I was insolent I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds — pretty standard, really. At the age of 12, I received my first scribe. At the age of 14, a Zoroastrian named Vilmer ritualistically shaved my testicles. There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum — it’s breathtaking … I suggest you try it.

sorry i dont have time to reply to everyones story but i want to say again to
@shelby. girl it is not your duty or role to save your family. the house or your brother. you have to try now to seperate your pain from their mistakes. i mean you are carrying around first of all a huge guilt for your existence, feeling deeply unwanted from birth on. and trying to pay for this by bailing them all out.
this is not your JOB!!! you have to try to live your life and not feel bad about any of the stuff you couldnt do. after all it is a parents job to protect their kids, not go bankrupt or lose their house or expect thier daughter to bail them out.
so feel good about yourself. you are so incredibly strong.
and live this for your SELF now. not for them.
look at this shelby, cuz if you dont you are going to be trying to save everyone you meet.
the reason i tell you this is cuz it reminds me of my life.
which is more or less running along this same pattern.
ok, im back out to dig the earth!

I grew up in a middle class(I think?) neighborhood with “born again Christian” parents who always made me go to church every sunday. I remember seeing holes in the story even at age 7 and asking questions that got ignored. I would always draw in church. On that note, I drew a lot as a kid, me and my friends invented our own code(for writing messages), games, made tree forts, tried selling neighbor’s own flowers to them, caught tadpoles, rode bikes, roller blades, etc, and generally spent a ridiculously amazing amount of time outside. I feel very grateful for that, looking back. I always loved music and listened to the radio constantly, and started piano lessons at 10 that I later gave up for the guitar around age 15.
In high school I was painfully shy just like my younger years before that. I discovered Pink Floyd when I was 15 and threw away every CD I owned that was not Pink Floyd, and proceeded to become obsessed. I did a lot of art in high school and discovered painting around 17 and have done it ever since except for a couple blank years where I cared more about getting fucked up.
First drank at 15, first smoked weed around 16, then proceeded to try every drug known to man and live a crazy existence with zero responsibilities or concerns for anyone other than myself. Then it got really bad, fast forward a couple years or so, so I moved out of state and I’m still in the state I moved to and never see my family anymore but have the best group of friends I’ve ever had, try to be as healthy as possible and learn every day and experiment with my reality constantly.

Born to teenage parents. Dad is an abusive, angry alcoholic, Mom is a gambling-addicted narcissist. Two younger siblings. I was the guinea-pig child. I got to experience the abuse, neglect, etc. that my siblings missed out on because I threatened to stab my dad the first time he tried to hit them. I was 8. Had some bad experiences, was raped, had terrible relationships, and dabbled far too much in cocaine and heroin (not IV, I don’t have the veins to support it.) Accomplished all this while working two jobs at night and a being a daytime high school senior. Dove straight from a life of addiction to getting knocked up 3 months later at 19 by a guy I really thought I loved but turned out to be a jerk. Missed being a teen parent by 3 whole months (SCORE!). Got sick, was treated for thyroid cancer 3 months after I had my oldest. Got pregnant again but didn’t know it until after I left my first fake husband. Now have two kids with a man I despise. Got sicker, went into heart failure, found out I was bipolar, had a miscarriage, broke off an engagement, and am now finding the parts to my life again and hope to be less of a mess by the time I’m 30. I’m a work in progress.

Amazing stories. Thank you @Kevin for creating this discussion. I, personally, needed this.. to find new souls, other beings in this world. Sounds like you found yourself :-) We’re all different, but that’s what makes us “us”. I just hate when people judge.

@Mime Awesome imagination.
@Kerry Berry. Misery likes company, but seriously, fuck off!
@Stonedragon. Leave ‘em tomatoes alone! Share your story already :-) I haven’t met you yet.

As for me… I am new to reality. I was born in Europe, and came to New York when I was 9. Thanks to my grandpa who was born in Connecticut and gave my family the born-right to US Citizenship.

My parents were drinkers, but my mother was an alcoholic. Her whole family was, til they all died, except her. My father managed to support us and love us, sometimes beat us, despite his hypocritical personality. He was my role model. He died in 3 years ago, due to drinking, smoking, overeating, and heart problems. But he lived to be a grandpa to his only little ones, my two kids. I was 23 then.

So my mother became a park bum. Brooklyn is full of them, and she was one of them. Everyone knew her, so to me, she was dead. My father attempted to kill her, when I was 4, and i witnessed it. I should have yelled “Do it”, maybe my life wouldn’t have been such a pain.

I have been born into the house of abuse, domestic violence, alcohol, poverty, and daily violence. I moved 29 times already. Thanks, mom, for getting us kicked out everywhere we moved to. I still question why my dad put up with her shit. True love I guess. He helped her through her cancer, and she fucking outlived him.

I began smoking cigarettes at 13, weed and alcohol at 14, and ecstasy at 16. Addicted to all, I had my dad discharge me from high school so i can get my GED. And I did, while being 7 months pregnant with my daughter. But I did it.
I was a stay at home mom, til I got married at 19, to my best friend, at the time, who was a Marine. I moved to North Carolina at the return from his deployment, and lived down there for 2 years til we separated. I moved back up to New York, for a short 3 years til I had my son and my dad passed away. 5 months later, I fled New York and ended up living in California for 2 years. There I nearly lost my life due to a very abusive relationship. My ex-fiance introduced me to “bath salts” drug, and that fucked up my health, tremendously… I weighed 106 pounds by the time I left California to come to New York.

I had another abusive situation with my brother, thanks to whom I began my life in a Domestic Violence shelter. I am still here, 4 months later. But 2 months ago, I had my first manic episode, where my life changed completely.

I now have both my kids, quit all substances, including cigarettes, and I’m starting school in 2 weeks, where I’ll be majoring in Human Services.

Life is great now. The psychosis gave me life. I feel alive. For the first time, I feel free.

I learned that everything happens for a reason, and everything cannot be taken so seriously. Accept things for what they are, and follow your bliss.

born into a tight family with a few acres of vegetable gardens. we lived with my grandmother in her two-family house because my truly wonderful parents – a librarian and a janitor – worked hard but never made much money. we always had enough, I knew some really poor kids. We raised rabbits, chickens, sheep and pigs, did a lot of fishing. I had a woods behind my house and that’s where I grew up – losing shoes, crashing into trees, shooting squirrels, setting fires.

I went from leading congregations at church in high school to following jambands for a while after studying music and a bit of performance art in college, where my favorite activity was tripping in the woods. studying music in college sucked the joy out of it. playing at my grandfather’s funeral brought it back! now I only play for fun, mostly with my kids.

met my wife in the czech republic, went back to visit then 9/11 happened so I got stuck there and we fell in love. The next year I got her pregnant so she came over and now we have two kids, two cats, two dogs, and lots of berry bushes.

Right now I’m trying to make time to read. I used to love it but with family and job, time for reading for pleasure is hard to find. and thanks to you people my “to read” list is gigantic.

Tomorrow, I’m going to New Orleans with a couple of buddies. Any HEthens about?

@Zach that’s an awesome story. gay wisconsinite hethen here as well! lets chill

hm. where to start…

I pretty much grew up all around the US. My dad was in the military so we moved to a new home every 2 or 3 years. He retired when I was about 11 or 12 and we moved into his parents house in white suburbia. My family has been living in Wisconsin since around 2000. I had a pretty religious (catholic) upbringing. Not a whole lot of preaching from my parents directly but we went to a private catholic school for 2 years, church every sunday and went to sunday school up through confirmation classes when I was 16. I lost my interest in catholicism when I was in about 7th grade and got into wicca/generic spirituality through high school. This was about the time I realized I was gay. in an attempt to not make this a coming out story, i’ll just mention that yes, shit was awkward and a bit depressing/difficult to come out but nothing super dramatic. From the sounds of it I had/have a fairly easy-going life.

High school was high school. I wouldn’t classify myself as an outsider cuz I always had friends, but my friends were all nerds and weird kids haha. About senior year I met the friends who I still have today. (I guess I should mention I’ll be 24 in June). I have a very conservative, very fundamentalist older brother. He also happens to be a huge social guy and everyone likes him. I really despised my brother and I still have issues with him today that I need to work on. He’s pretty much the only person who can make me feel small and insignificant and generally bad about my self.

I guess you’ve figured out by now I grew up in a very rich white conservative town. There literally was like 1 black guy at our school, out of 2400+ students. Feeling like I was robbed of any diversity during these years I wanted to go to a very diverse University…but somehow landed my first year at UW Oshkosh which is basically a big college full of drunk hicks (cool classes though). It was here that I fell in love with Psychology and decided to take that up as my major after I transfered to the state university. UW Madison is awesome and for the first time in my life i felt true happiness – a feeling of unconditional “belonging”. I graduated with a BA in psychology and German.

I never had the chance to travel much, so I took the opportunity to apply for a fulbright grant my senior year. I made it into the program and moved to Germany a few months after graduation in 2010. It was everything I wanted – finally getting to experience Germany FO REAL and I was traveling all over europe, taking weekend trips to most major cities….but I wasn’t happy. How was this possible? I was so privileged, I was doing everything I wanted, there was nothing wrong with my life except for maybe a twinge of missing everyone back home. I started to look for answers. almost exactly a year ago I found HE and have been addicted ever since :)

I started working out and getting into fitness, learning more about psychology with a philisophical twist. I really started to get interested in personal development, cosmicism, meditation and buddhism. I came back to the US in June of 2011, decided I wasn’t quite finished traveling the world and moved to Australia for funsies haha. I looooove Sydney, I really feel like I belong here – i just wish i could import all my friends and family and my life would be complete. I feel like I mastered so much about my life these past 7.5 months of being here but also acknowledge I have so much more to learn/do. For the first time in my life I feel like i have some stable beliefs, as opposed to being totally agnostic and “no one knows so whats the point in thinking about it”.

I’ll be doing a bit of travelling before going back to the US (excited and scared at the same time) in the end of May, where I plan on staying for a year or two but who knows
I’m really beginning to entertain the idea of being a therapist/life coach. I really want to get people to realize their potential and start living life full on, none of this half-ass zombie shit!

That’s a quick summary of my life and where I’m at right now. I love reading these stories so please keep them coming!

Wow that was long. Sorry people!(:

@stonedragon thanks a lot for reading and for sharing. I’ve heard about people separating after 9 years which I could only imagine how rough that would be. 30 is altogether different. I wish you and your sons the best. It was hard coming back but I’m knee deep and loving it now. I don’t currently have any online friends but its been long ago enough that I can comfortably post online again. I think being through rough times can give people an unshakeable sense of strength and freedom. Thats definitely clear from reading some of the other posts here.

Regardless of my intense hatred of potatoes (probably from over exposure due to living in Ireland) have fun.