The Benjamin Franklin Effect
The Misconception: You do nice things for the people you like and bad things to the people you hate.
The Truth: You grow to like people for whom you do nice things and hate people you harm.
Benjamin Franklin knew how to deal with haters.
Enjoy, HEthen ones.
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Great thread Sasho! I’ve read about this, and it definitely seems to be true. I used to be prone to letting people take advantage of my niceness, and I’d usually end up getting screwed in the end. Then, I was vehement about keeping negative people at a distance (to avoid the above), and I ended up isolating myself from a lot of people. Finally, I realized I can just deal with people on an individual basis, rather than grouping them together and assuming.
Now, I just have fun interacting with everyone I encounter!
I haven’t finished the article yet but I really liked this part.
“Let’s start with your attitudes. Attitude is the psychological term for the the bundle of beliefs and feelings you experience toward a person, topic, idea, etc. without having to consciously think….
For many things, your attitudes came from actions which led to observations which led to explanations which led to beliefs. It is well known in psychology the cart of behavior often gets before the horse of attitude. Your actions tend to chisel away at the raw marble of your persona, carving into being the self you experience day-to-day. It doesn’t feel that way though. To conscious experience, it feels like you are the one holding the chisel, motivated by existing thoughts and beliefs. It feels as though the person wearing your pants is performing actions consistent with your established character, yet there is plenty of research suggesting otherwise. The things you do often create the things you believe.”
@manimal this just makes the manipulative master having a bigger ego. People with humongous egos have everything and nothing, hence stronger emotions in a not so healthy competition.
@Peter huge egos are not huge because someone fed them to be. They’re huge because they see more clearly what’s feeding them crap and what’s not. :)