My whole life I’ve been calculating things, having to do lists and always telling myself what I should be doing. And when you keep telling yourself what you should be doing you think all sorts of mean thoughts to punish yourself a lot because you think you shouldn’t be doing what you are doing. So how the fuck do I kill the little police man telling me what I should and shouldn’t be doing and do whatever I want to do, say whatever I want to say? Overactive super ID.
I like clarity. But there’s no clarity in a complete abstract way of saying things you should or should not feel responsible for. If you are just saying that you’re a very doubtful person and make everything complicated, then you should try to build a stronger character. That happens when you give yourself time, learn how to be more patient with yourself and probably be more understandable with your approach of asking questions to yourself.
“If you don’t know where you’re going, you’ll end up somewhere else.”
@oldschool, I dunno man. Maybe ya just hafta listen some reggaey, yo, lay back, tell the police to go fuck themselves, cause you know better about what’s needed in tha moment.
Things are never wrong, they happen for a reason, so you can understand and accept them as they are from your heart. I can’t tell you how to do that, but go do some experiments yourself. Authority figures in our head are trying to protect us, but the things they are trying to protect us from are generally created by the same authority figures that tend humiliate us for nothing. How many times did those horrible things really come true that your dear police officer told ya? I say at least 90% of what it says is bullshit, no matter how persuasive might they sound.
Maybe it’s a good idea to really personalize this voice, give him an identity, name him, describe him with all the details, then go and create some other character, for example and adventurer-type of man, who can re-balance your thinking. Like how the anxious officer is bambling about order, but old Indy just falls asleep on that airplane and doesn’t give a fuck. In the time of crisis, however, Indy will do his crazy things and win. Or make up something like that. You can give them stories, draw them etc. Projecting your inner demons is the shamanic way to deal with them.
@oldschool, I didn’t tell you to kill him. It’s a part of yourself. You shouldn’t kill yourself. If your arm hurts, you don’t don’t cut it, but take good care of it. I’ve tried to overpower my shadow before, it’s pointless, your unconscious is just as much powerful as you are, and always has a valid point. Your policeman is not wrong, he’s only confused.
@oldschool, I’m not sure why people have to nit pick the way you phrased your post so much. It seems to happen a lot here, don’t let these philosopher/spiritual gurus fool you, many of them are elitists in disguise.
I understood what you were saying just fine and I can relate. I am a really busy person, I actually have to write “chill the fuck out” on my to do list. A lot of these impulses to constantly be doing something productive or constantly working to make a few extra bucks is just cultural conditioning. We feel like we need things that are mostly useless but we’ve got to keep up with everyone else we can have the most up to date whatever. Conditioning like that is hard to break.
I’m as guilty as anyone else, I like having all that crap too, I waste a lot of my hard earned money on crap. It seems like I live to work so that I can buy dumb shit. I honestly hate it.
But it’s a love/hate thing, i’m not as bad as I used to be, thank god.
That might not even be your problem at all though. It could be a psychological thing, I’m not saying your crazy or anything but some people are just wired like that. What do you do for fun? What do you do to relax? Do you relax? Sleeping doesn’t count lol.
@cadeus333, Thanks for not being a dildo over the internet for fun like half these kids. I’m a little different though I’m not as concerned with money, that’s not why I do things. It’s more you should be being productive because that’s what successful people do or this is the main one that bothers me is valuing what I want over what other people want. Which I think is right to do, everyone has the right to go after what they want in life. But then if your trying to do onto others what they do onto you, you’d be nice and not think about doing things for yourself. I guess now writing this out really helped me realize it’s a conflict between my individualism (learned philosophy) vs the christian help everybody else upbringing I had.
@roll, Killing him, ignoring him like indy. It’s all the same to me, I’m just going to give it a name and no longer listen to it.
@oldschool, I was actually discussing something similar to your topic earlier today. I was telling a coworker about how I have such a conditioned, guilty conscience that makes me feel bad about many things I wish it didn’t. As you mentioned, too, I told him that I blame it on my conservative, southern baptist upbringing. I’m still trying to figure out how to get past all of that myself…
(sorry this isn’t exactly helpful – moreso wanted to let you know that I can relate and you’re definitely not alone :))