this WHY questions

hi brohs, i’m fikri ,new here
i’ve some point that need to share and ask to you all.
lately i’m in some ‘sad inside cozy’ or maybe ‘cozy inside sad’ conditions. or maybe it’s just same afterall,
this happen since my usual unwanted habit,think.
just like another,this think things works for me to (most of all)produce action or process school lesson, such as schedule of day, science or anything that existence that fullfil this world nowadays.but it works until some months ago that full of life problems,

then, i try to think that this mind is so pity to work only for what my body got to do . i think sometimes he(mind) need to think for himself
start from here, i always think about human, social, emotions(i even proud that i could manipulate my perception of this one,haha), logics, a non-physic of “me” that part of universe,cosmos,dimensions bla bla bla all the days.

then some day i go out to get lost and try to find a calm place, such a green and peaceful plateau.finally i got there,(fyi it’s name is dieng,a plateau that located in central java, indonesia).
from up there, those thought comes again, but not in some goal. it’s like i always attacked by “WHY’ question,
universe, human, dimensions, emotions-ALL OF THIS EXISTENCE!
why, why and why. one ‘why’ maybe generate one answer, but the answer itself explode my mind to another thousand “why”question. i try to get out from this condition, but then it comes one question ‘why had to stop?’ and ‘why i’ve to continue’ then it didn’t stop. i try to manipulate my mind to ask it by “when”, “where”, “how”,”who”. but again, the answer is so simple that just gave me another “why”.
why You create all of this, so what? why i have to ask why…….
this condition stays for some days, and it makes me feel like surrender but in a good way, or maybe sad and happy that blurred(damn bad english an explain this condition made me look stupid)..
it feels like, i really need any reason for all of this, i stop want to chase the answers but it just come, the feel need of reasons is just come again and again.

now i still slightly can manipulate my days to keep still happy, but i can’t go with this condition afterall. i predict it could make me crazy even kill me :/

after saw people experience and perspective in this community,found some same things happen to me and some similar perspective.
i believe you guys could help me
thanks