Tips for Inner Happiness?

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Dom (@dominickjohn)    2 years, 7 months ago

I’ve recently gone though another big shift in my reality, one that took away many things I didn’t want to see go. It made me realize just how much happiness I placed in the things outside of myself because of the immense pain I’ve been feeling inside.

I know this shift’s purpose… it’s to create unconditional happiness within. It shocked me just how behind on this I actually was. I’m taking many steps and receiving lots of realizations towards inner happiness (some are obvious, but obviously not taken to heart).


Here’s a list of what I’ve come up with so far to help keep me on the path towards this reality of unconditional happiness within, and become my true shining self:

- Certainty. The belief that no matter what happens, everything is going to be okay.

- Ability. The belief that you can handle anything life gives you.

- Pleasure in Giving. The belief that giving is what’s the most pleasing activity.

- Everything’s a Bonus. The belief that there’s nothing to lose.

- Not Using Others for Your Happiness. The belief that people are there for you to share your happiness WITH, not receive happiness FROM.

- Self-Acceptance. The belief that you are always perfect just the way you are.

- Conscious Action. Constantly asking yourself "WHY" you are doing what you are doing, and making sure the motivation behind anything isn’t a means to an end for you to be happy.

- Honesty. Speaking your true feelings, fears, etc. It’s impossible to be happy if your head and heart aren’t in harmony.


That’s a few of what I have so far that have really raised my vibration in this painful time, I hope this helps someone else on the same journey.

If anyone has any other beliefs or guiding thoughts to help stimulate inner happiness please share!

1 votes, posted 01.08.2012 at 8:35 pm
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ELI var namnet (@manimal)2 years, 7 months ago ago

Meditate

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Bryan Hellard (@xyver)2 years, 7 months ago ago

Think. Similar to meditating, just think. Deal with the thoughts in your head, just let them pass. Don’t always suppress them.

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Erlebnisse (@davmu)2 years, 7 months ago ago

One of the most important quality you can develop to achieve greater happiness is perhaps optimism. First, look for the good in every situation, especially when the experience make setbacks. You keep yourself positive by looking for the bright side. You can always find one! Second, seek the valuable lesson in every difficulty. Believe that each temporary failure or obstacle has been sent to teach you something. You simply ask yourself this: What am I ment to learn from this situation? You can always find something.

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Ray Butler (@trek79)2 years, 7 months ago ago

I feel that if I have love for others in my life, do not do anything that will make me feel guilty, immerse myself in my passion, pursue wisdom and laugh a lot. If I can do this then it is the best possible feeling I can ever have and is a motivation in itself for me to retain. It may not be as simple as I put it but it is a goal I aim for.
I also have 4 main sayings that help me remember this:
1) “A full home is a full life, despite the problems, as an empty home is an empty life, despite the freedom and peace”
2)”Seek wisdom but do not sacrifice love and/or happiness to do so, as this is not wise”
3)”Do not do anything your conscience will not let you get away with, the peace within is more valuable”
4)”Laugh whenever you can, but especially when you cannot”
I am working on one for passion, what do you think of this? “Passion is the source of both great happiness and great stress, it is not fair but it IS worth it”

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Avatar of ELI var namnet
ELI var namnet (@manimal)2 years, 7 months ago ago

Question everything, a lot of unhappiness is simply due to bad stuff you’ve accepted without questioning and keep in your mind. First of all, question the why. There is a why behind everything, and behind every answer you get to the question “Why?” Especially behind your feelings, there is always a why and the cause is always something within yourself. Usually a bad thought pattern.

The second thing to question is meaning. We give a lot of meaning to pointless things, to negative things, to destructive things. Most of this meaning only complicates things, and it is also false. Yeshuah had his disciples deny the meaning of everything, “none of this means anything,” and this liberated them.

Another thing to question is the properties of what you let into your life and if you should let it in. “Is this good for me? Does this make me happy? Does this give me more peace and let me relax fully? Does this make me stronger? Does this make me smarter? Does this give me more knowledge? Does this inspire and motivate me? Does this make me feel more free? Is this a sane investment of my time and energy?” and so on. Most thoughts, beliefs and habits in most people are complete SHIT, useless, negative, destructive, pointless and dumb. Like TV and videogames, they offer you nothing of value but a whole lot of negative consequences. It’s DUMB and BAD and HARMFUL.

Question everything.

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Dom (@dominickjohn)2 years, 7 months ago ago

Thanks guys these are all great.

@ray I like the sayings. The passion one I like so far, but I personally feel it could elaborate that while there can be great stress, it’s only because your passions are doing double duty by showing you all the things that aren’t working in your life. It’s actually helping you see the old limiting beliefs that you can then overcome.

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Dom (@dominickjohn)2 years, 7 months ago ago

@manimal this is an awesome process. I’ve been really hammering out the why to help me to better personal benefits, but not the meaning of things.

I think most of my pain arises from labels and expectations that I did not create. Thank you

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DANM!! (@deej)2 years, 7 months ago ago

Thanks Dom I really like the points you brought up there.

I can relate It’s like a new power I have. This ability to recognize my thoughts and motivations. One thing that just jumped out at me one day when I was out with friends at a concert was that everything was pointless and built around rules that I have learned to accept and that there is no meaning to most things that I give it to and that the people around you too act on these rules that they built for themselves too. It just is. It’s a good thing to dedicate some part of yourself to finding what it true and what is made up, its suuuper freeing :)

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Ray Butler (@trek79)2 years, 7 months ago ago

I think that in the case of passion, it is not so much the inadequacies of the rest of your life in comparison that makes it stressful, but rather the fact that it is the greatest thing to you “passion is the source of great happiness and O.C.D” How about that?

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PDC (@chemicalspike)2 years, 7 months ago ago

Meditate. Not much else matters, meditation is a cureall.

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Ray Butler (@trek79)2 years, 7 months ago ago

Yes, I think meditation has it’s uses but meditation is a state of removing, a lack of anything, to reach happiness it is more a case of building.

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PDC (@chemicalspike)2 years, 7 months ago ago

Meditation is not a state of removing anything what on earth gave you that idea?

The misconceptions about meditation is absolutely one of the most frustrating things about bringing it up tbh. Much like if you say you are a buddhist then people assume you are detached from everything when the opposite is true, it is about building true attachments, real feelings not….ach well many a discussion to be had on this.

What on earth gave you that impression?

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Ray Butler (@trek79)2 years, 7 months ago ago

I see meditation as a state of clearing the mind, hence a state of removal. I suppose the appeal is that you strip the mind down to nakedness, to the bare. This, as you say, leaves you free to then connect with everything on the fundamental level. That is how I see it. The natural progression of building these true attachments and real feelings is the result of meditation not the method. The advantages of meditation become clear as this true and real state becomes corrupted after a time of existing in the built up mind.

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PDC (@chemicalspike)2 years, 7 months ago ago

you used the word “BUT” as though it were a negative and I’m curious as to how you see the negatives, impediments as though something needed to be added before it could be a tool for personal growth rather than a tool in itself.

Because the only stripping away as I see it is in the false self allowing the true self to make proper connections.

Though i’m detecting some cognitive dissonance in your post or my interpretation of your post. Is it possible that “but” shouldn’t have been there and I’ve attached far more weight to it than I should have?

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Ray Butler (@trek79)2 years, 7 months ago ago

Yes, this nakedness or bareness probably is this state of true attachment and real feelings, I’m no expert on meditation, my focus is on seeking the ideal “built up” state of mind rather than creating the conditions to build that ideal state. I am finding much more interest in meditation from this discussion, thanks for that.

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PDC (@chemicalspike)2 years, 7 months ago ago

yeah meditation isn’t so much a tool for stripping things away or building up things it is neither.

Meditation from what I can tell allows a true self to emerge.

If you were interested I can dig out a few scientific articles that compare meditation and hypnosis and to be honest they do lend a slight academic bias to meditation but do not denigrate hypnosis in any fashion.

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ELI var namnet (@manimal)2 years, 7 months ago ago

@Ray Happiness can’t be built. You can build systems of attachments that make you temporarily happy, but also cause you to crash every so often making you feel bad. It’s just like getting that house or car or relationship that you really want, you think it will make you happy, you get it and you’re happy for a while, then all that happiness is gone. That’s borrowing happiness, it’s false.

Meditation isn’t about stripping things down, it’s about balance, awareness and centeredness. Like putting your things into order or running a defrag on your computer. It lets your mind operate properly, and so happiness comes through. It is true that you can use meditation remove stuff, but that’s not meditation itself though meditation makes it easier. The stripping down is done through conscious effort and thought.

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Ray Butler (@trek79)2 years, 7 months ago ago

Is such an ideal built up state possible, or is this centered state, achieved thru meditation, the ideal state? If the meditative state is the ideal, then why do we gravitate away from it? Why do we have to meditate to achieve it?

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ELI var namnet (@manimal)2 years, 7 months ago ago

@Ray There is no ideal state, we have preferences and opinions y’know. And what is this gravitating away from it that you’re talking about? Other than social conditioning there is nothing pulling us away from it, and you don’t have to do proper meditation to be in that state. It’s just a process of quickly getting back on track (yes, quickly, it’s only slow if you do it wrong.)

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Ray Butler (@trek79)2 years, 7 months ago ago

Manimal, I want to know what your take on guilt is. Should we feel it? If so, when and why should we feel it. Do people do bad because they do not feel it? Or rather is it possible for someone who does not feel it to live by trying not to harm others? I suppose it is all more complex than this because they can if they fear punishment not feel guilt. In which case it is a matter of punishment for good people while bad people are un-touched. (I mean good people in the sense that they try not to harm others and bad in the sense that the kill and injure others in some manner).

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ELI var namnet (@manimal)2 years, 7 months ago ago

@Ray I’m not sure, haven’t felt guilt for as long as I can remember. But here’s what I think, guilt is nothing more than clinging to the negative consequences of a bad action. When we do bad, we get bad emotional feedback, when we keep this stuff in our minds they develop into various forms of corrupt feelings, such as guilt. The feeling is not the emotion, it’s a fucked up reaction to the emotion.

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Avatar of ELI var namnet
ELI var namnet (@manimal)2 years, 7 months ago ago

@Ray I’m not sure, haven’t felt guilt for as long as I can remember. But here’s what I think, guilt is nothing more than clinging to the negative consequences of a bad action. When we do bad, we get bad emotional feedback, when we keep this stuff in our minds they develop into various forms of corrupt feelings, such as guilt. The feeling is not the emotion, it’s a fucked up reaction to the emotion.

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Avatar of Ray Butler
Ray Butler (@trek79)2 years, 7 months ago ago

Is that because you have not done anything considered negative or because of your mind set?
I agree that we torture ourselves un-necessarily even after we resolve the issue. I don’t have that problem anymore, but I used to. After all no heart aching can change anything you can just learn and try to avoid doing it if you feel that empathetic response.

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Avatar of Ray Butler
Ray Butler (@trek79)2 years, 7 months ago ago

Is that because you have not done anything considered negative or because of your mind set?
I agree that we torture ourselves un-necessarily even after we resolve the issue. I don’t have that problem anymore, but I used to. After all no heart aching can change anything you can just learn and try to avoid doing it if you feel that empathetic response.

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Avatar of Dom
Dom (@dominickjohn)2 years, 7 months ago ago

Guilt to me is taking responsibility for other people’s happiness, which is just mirror to say you make other people responsible for yours.

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