Because of where I live I don’t get my different options, people are either Christian republicans or atheist democrats. The belief of my town in the subject matter is that it’s strictly for the married and until then you don’t look, think, or wonder about sex because we’re either ‘good Christian people’ or too young.
I apologize ahead of time if this maybe a repeat thread, but there are new minds joining this site everyday, and like me, I searched and couldn’t find a topic as vague as I needed it to be.
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Well I wouldn’t just have sex with someone I met in line at the grocery store. There are a few guys I know that I have an awesome connection with, but none of them plan to settle down anytime soon. I guess the main thing i’m questioning is whether I should do the whole relationship thing or just have fun and respond to my own natural wants. I feel like this would be less complicated if I already had had sex. I’m putting so much pressure on how the “first” time should go. At this rate, no matter what happens i’ll be disappointed
I agree with Bryan. His explanation is everything I would say. As long as it’s safe, sex is awesome. I agree that you shouldn’t build it up…When I was losing my virginity and first started having sex, it seemed a lot bigger and stress-worthy than it now is. I’m pretty comfortable with it.
Sex is completely natural. We are animals, ya know? It’s pretty cool.
And porn can be good and bad. However, there is so much out there and for someone inexperienced they might not know what is what.
My philosophy on sex: It’s as carefree and instinctual as going to the toilet. There should be little conscious thought involved. I can say that in my record with sex, I’ve had every possible type of experience. Loved the person, bad sex; didn’t even like the person, bad sex; loved the person; good sex; didn’t know the person, good sex… jeez, the list goes on. What I can say is that I have a favorite sexual partner, and while I don’t love him, I do like him. He’s not The One, by any means, but we’re completely compatible in bed. It’s the scent that draws us together. And we get touchy-feely sometimes, almost in a way that a romantic couple do, it just never leaves the bedroom, and that is how it will stay. And it’s still the greatest sex ever. One day I will find The One and I hope, for his sake, that he and I have the same connection that my favorite shag and I do.
There it is: look forward to one day being completely unjudged and unjudging during sex. Best feeling ever.
@manimal i believe time makes the connection. sometimes when you meet new people.. you dont always have a connection with people at first but time builds that. you find out about that person you find out about how they liked to be touched what makes them laugh what makes them cry what turns them on what turns them off. thats the connection im talking about. i makes up for better sex in the end. i regret to inform you that sex is special and shouldn’t be thrown around…. one little reason because i have to hear about it all the time from girls the next day how they talked about getting layed and left just by that meaning sex shouldnt be thrown around. sex is a connection. ever seen avatar haha? thats the shit im talkin about.
What exactly are you asking? do you need sex explained to you? you want to know our thoughts on sex?
I personally love it, I think its one of the best parts of life.
Have a lot of sex in your life, and don’t wait until your married to start. Use a condom also. If you need to learn more about how to have sex there are many books and magazine articles written on the subject. If your not sure exactly how it works, go watch some porn.
I’m in college and I have yet to ‘get my bone on’
And i’m ambivalent about the whole ordeal.
I’m not ashamed that I haven’t yet, and i’m not rushing to get rid of it.
I’ve dated, but never had a serious relationship.
Friends tell me I should wait for the right guy.
But I’m sick of waiting, dammit. Sex is completely natural, and I feel like i’m suppressing my own desires. At the same time, I don’t want to make a hasty decision and end up with regrets.
Sorry to project my own story into this thread, but it’s been on my mind for a while.
I’ve had multiple partners and the only one I wish I could have changed was the one I wasn’t in a relationship with. Other than that, the other relationships I was in where I did have sex just ended poorly. I am with someone right now who is extremely important to me, and she is extremely strong on abstaining. And this is something I absolutely love about her. Just because she abstains doesn’t mean that she doesn’t have fun, on the contrary. With her I’ve had some of the best sexual experience I have ever had and we don’t have sex. From what I’ve experience Lex is that if you want a relationship to be long lasting and have more fun than more sex, keep it light and keep sex out of it. Do oral or whatever else you choose, but sex does seem important for you, as it is for me, and there is no need to have sex now. And for everyone on here who condones sexual promiscuity, I understand why. It feels fantastic. But for me, the most important part about sex is the emotional connection, not the physical one. (I know, weird for a guy to say)
I took a long time to decide about sex, because I’ve grown up in a pretty Christian home.
Sex before marriage is a good idea, in my opinion. I’ve never understood why people think you should wait. The only thing different between a married couple and another couple is a paper contract and a ring. So getting those means you are now allowed to have sex?
I do think that you should give sex a try, but it is still special, so don’ throw it around frivolously. And be careful! Do your research on birth control and condoms and diseases and such.
@ Bobby: If your not sure exactly how it works, go watch some porn.
I couldn’t disagree more. Porn sex is nothing like real sex. If anything, lesbian porn is a better teacher on how to please a girl, and even that is pretty bad, because it’s porn and not real life. The way guys treat girls in porn is bad IMO.
When you have sex for the first time, don’t build it up in your head as some huge, special, beautiful moment that will be perfect. It probably won’t. It will be awkward and strange, and still fucking amazing. But like anything, it takes practice to get good at. And lucky for you, the practice is fantastic :D
im not sayin you have to be in a relationship im just sayin it worked for me because thats when i best knew that person and understood what they felt emotionally and physically.thats good that you like that person thats the only thing your truly need.
you may not be disappointed you may also.i just feel bad for people who get hurt and hate on guys because of what they have been through. just keep yourself openminded. maybe you should look in other places to meet a guy you know? dont go to the same table at lunch, dont go to the same grocery store you always go to change things up and get out of your comfort zone. don’t be close minded to meeting new friends, and you just may walk into someone you feel like your ready to have sex with. i mean you have waited this long so obviously you know what you want out of a man.
it is incredibly amazing to join your body and perhaps even melt your soul into the soul and body of another being, if only for a short while.
this is so sacred and is often made to be vulgar.
i dont think people have to be married to do this. they just have to want to join togheter, it is like looking in someones eyes. sometimes that is much stronger and more passionate than a complicated sexual act with lots of expectations.
you just have to feel a kind of flow and let go into it…
the rest is just nature and love and beauty.
This is what I wanted to understand. My society puts a guilt on sex, a fear of ridicule and shame for something natural. I need to ask your thoughts and stories because I don’t get many others.
*this is so sacred and is often made to be vulgar.
*It’s just sex, and it’s great. Don’t make a big deal of it because it isn’t a big deal.
*Sex is completely natural, and I feel like i’m suppressing my own desires. At the same time, I don’t want to make a hasty decision and end up with regrets.
Thought those where great.
@bobby- I know what sex is…I’m not five.
@dillon Yeah, but there’s no sense in forcing a faux connection. If there’s no connection, you go separate ways. When the connection occurs naturally, that’s when you do the sex/relationship thing. There’s no sense in “creating” a connection with someone you don’t vibe well with. I would never consider a relationship that I I’m not already sexually connected with, that’s just unnatural.
Most of the time when they talk about getting laid and left, that’s just to not seem like a slut. It’s social conditioning. Girls enjoy sex just for sex too, you know. But they’re not allowed by the social norms to fuck and move on, so they put on this little show to their friends after engaging in that act. Girls do ONS just as much as guys do, you know.
Sex is indeed a connection. Bullshit ego thoughts and concepts stifle that connection. There is nothing beautiful about that.
It’s just sex, and it’s great. Don’t make a big deal of it because it isn’t a big deal.
@Bryan The people in porn have shitty technique (because it’s about showing the details that aren’t visible during real sex) but the “bad treatment” isn’t such a bad thing. Girls cum like crazy when you’re rough with them, when you’re all gentle and girly they usually don’t. And lesbian sex is only sexy to lesbians you know, a straight woman wants a man and the things that men have (like dick and power.)
Virgin here, I have pretty liberal views on sex but I just have yet to meet a girl that I felt a connection with that was also not already in a relationship. Honestly, I’ve felt a connection with 3 or 4 girls and all of them have been in relationships with friends of mine, the universe is torturing me. I’m in no rush though.