The other day i found out that a guy who i call a friend has been stealing my stuff He stole things worth $200 and few important things aswell.
i am a creative guy so dont care about all this dont even think this will happen but at the same time i can be just like those lil buggers but in this situation i am just frustrated am already fedup of these people and i dont socialise much because i find my self in shit and i end up hurting some 1.
here i dont know what to do.. some wise suggestions would help..
@zoomboom, Go to his place and steal all of your stuff back. Invite him over after you have had a chance to put all of your stuff in your home, and say something to the effect of “Man, today is SO AWESOME. I finally found all of that stuff I told you I had been missing. Isn’t that GREAT.”
He will get the message. Don’t be surprised if you hang out less with him though.
@lytning91 thats really wise i will surely try this..But am also ready with the plan b which keeps everything in balance.. i plan to leave thugs behind him and get my things as well as his things too.. his girlfriend(hottt) is also on the list she is the most easy one!! i think love should come first material later.. i have some good case solving skills lets test them ; )
Don’t be vengeful, man. Better forgive him, you said yourself that you are a creative guy and don’t care about such things. Be a man, talk to him about that, try to get to the root – why did he want to steal those things, what did he need them for and can he give them back?
And most of all, ask yourself why this is happening to you, after all you are the main person responsible for this. Are there any reasons that would make people steal things from you? Has it happened before? If yes, what is common between the occasions?
@gosho That makes much sense.but there is no potential reason i can give why did it happen maybe coz i was drunk and chilled out.C’on man i don’t think we need to be so conscious about our things like some nutt, keeping them properly is enough i think. I never thought this guy chilling around will just wack my things off.It just spoils the peace of mind and these things use to happen when i was barely a teen and i din’t know him then so there is no chance that i have done the same lmao.I think he don’t know the consequences of a grown up but i will consider your words and get my things back.
@beyond next time if it happens lol….
@zoomboom, Don’t go in hostile. That is only going to make things worse. You don’t need this guy trying to start any more BS with you so try to be covert, as I described. As for @gosho’s opinion on my advice, it is obviously not making a situation deeper to have your things back. Once he knows that you know he’s been taking your stuff, he will probably get really silent, feel embarrassed, and flee like a little child.
The method that I described will return your stuff to it’s rightful place and insure that the guy KNOWS you know exactly what has been happening. It’s not like he can re-steal it after you bring attention to how you found all of this stuff. There’s not really a ‘deeper’ issue, as gosho described. It’s actually super simple: scaredy-cat thief takes your stuff, thinking he’s being cool, you take it back, he feels like an idiot and tucks tail back to his home, ashamed of the combination of your awesomeness and his lameness.
This will make you feel like a total boss so long as you do not mention anything about stealing. You have to play it off cool and be the smug one, because you know he knows YOU know, if that makes any sense.
@lytning91, my idea about the issue getting deeper was that usually, if we do not solve our problems, they come back later in another form, only this time its worse – and it will keep repeating until you learn your lesson. And the problem here, I think, is not that the guy stole something from you – but that you somehow attracted this event, and that you feel bad about it. I’d suggest putting some deep thoughts into this before taking any action.
@gosho, so your advice was based off of an assumption that was never mentioned? I don’t recall him ever directly referencing anything he did to incite the thievery, so you can see why your mention of a deeper issue was confusing.
Most of the time when there are people trying to steal from me, they do it sneakily, thinking they can get away with it. If I ever bring attention to it they either act like it never happened or return it and then are too ashamed to speak to me again. I doubt he did anything to make someone feel justified in stealing his things (on seemingly multiple occasions, as well). I just don’t see were a lengthy assessment is needed.
I agree with the first part of @gosho‘s post.
Be the better person, don’t try to get revenge. Calm down, confront, communicate, then forgive and forget. Best case scenario, it’ll never happen again and you might grow closer. The worst that could happen is you lose your materials and a bad friend. His loss, in my opinion.
But don’t think for a second (this is where I disagree with Gosho) that you’re responsible. All you’ve done was be a friend to the thief, I assume. Don’t let anyone strip you of your kindness and trust. Don’t let anyone make you regret being a good person. It’s his own fault if you can’t trust him anymore. Just remember that not all people are bad, but only lend trust to those who earn it.
I hope you work it out!
Yeah, I guess I should have said it all – YOU are responsible for everything which is happening to you! Not your parents, not your friends, not the government, not even your belief systems, thoughts and feelings – it is you who is in full charge of the way your life goes and the sooner you understand that the better!
I have personally had things stolen from my by people who i thought were my friends, even family members. the fact that he stole from you shows how much your friendship means to him. He broke your trust, which from the sound of your post, means that trust isn’t something you just give to anybody. You could confront him about the theft of you could just cut him out of your life. Do what you want, but chances are that if you let him stay in your life you will never be able to fully trust him. I am sorry that this happened to you. everything will work out in the end for better or worse. Make the decision from what you feel is right. People telling you things on the internet, even me are only here to give you suggestions, but in the end the decision that you make about your friend is up to you