What is bipolar disorder?
So after a few drastic ups and downs my counselor said I show sighs of bipolar disorder, She recommended me to a psychiatrist and I was there today, I got more following appointments, I talked about the situation and I shared a lot then I am used too and how I have “alter ego” (which may not be the case anymore), I am just curious, what is bipolar disorder? and how do you know if you have it??.
Personally I don’t think I have bipolar, I just think that I am a teenager that likes to live wildly and doesn’t think of the consequences, though I never seem to control it. I have many questions regarding myself that I can’t answer but I don’t think I have a disorder, I may have bipolar tendencies but I don’t think it’s that bad that it’s I will get diagnosed.
what is bipolar? and what does it mean??, And what is your experiences about it?
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@skyfall, I don’t even know where to start haha. Bipolar ranges from mild to severe mood disorders of extremely high highs and just as low lows. The high highs can contain such feelings as oneness with the universe where you act impulsively. You may shed your clothes as you feel them to be insulting your true nature and you may just run wild and free doing who knows what. You may see or feel as if you are flying next to other planets and feel as if the whole universe or galaxy is dancing before you. Some people want to have sex with everyone. Some people jump around yelling and screaming whatever they want. And then the lows, imagine the opposite of all of that. You constantly think of suicide because you miss all of the highs so you may hurt yourself or others. I’ve smoked marijuana, and DMT; I’ve done LSD and shrooms. The high highs described in bipolar, are exactly that experienced on LSD, shrooms, and DMT, but that is just how they have been for me. As you are coming down off of some of these, you may feel completely awful and want to just die or kill yourself because the experience is over. Our bodies naturally produce DMT which, if my knowledge is correct, is supposed to be the most powerful of all hallucinogens or psychedelics. DMT is the drug that makes dreams feel so real and if you or someone you know has vision, that is why. My opinion is that the high highs of bipolar or any other disorder/disease etc, with similar symptoms are a result of these people knowing how to use their pineal gland (produces DMT) without being aware of it. It isn’t something practiced in our culture so when encountered, people freak out. I met with a counselor a few months back when I quit my job because I was sick of society and because I had these high highs. Most of the highs were caused by the drugs but there have been times where I have felt them without any substance use. I was completely open and honest with my counselor and she told me she thinks I am bipolar and have some ADD or ADHD. She told me to buy a book called “An Unquiet Mind” by Kay Redfield Jamison. I recommend you check it out as well. The lady who wrote the book also has bipolar disorder but for some reason I come to a different conclusion about her than her family, friends, and doctors and the counselor who I saw. She has a tremendous gift but the way our society and culture are structured, they inhibit this impulsive sort of energy. It’s like a river and we dam it up so the only way to deal with it, at least the way they tell us, is through drugs. I’m not trying to speak of the whole pharmacies stealing our money and how they just want to drug you. It’s more of how we know so LITTLE about the mind yet we make such great claims. I heard someone say once, “We know as much about the mind now as we did about the universe back in 1500″. So basically we do not know anything. Instead of trying to understand it and learn from it or help the people who “have” this utilize it to their advantage, we belittle it and say to them we think this is best for you and we do not want you to hurt yourself. We keep trying to control them because they are so out of control but our attempts to control them are just as out of control as the person they say is out of control. The more you think and/or act on something the more your life will head into that direction. You have a different type of diet/digestion than eating food. The thoughts you think from yourself or others, the feelings you feel and focus on, and the actions you take and continue will become your life. So if you hear this bipolar and they tell you the symptoms, the more you think of it and possibly worry, the more you can actually “become” bipolar. The important thing is, don’t let people into your mental digestion/diet. Meaning not to listen to anything anyone says unless it makes complete sense to you. If it makes sense to you, then make it your own, not theirs. Whatever may happen do not let their believing this to be a “disorder” bog you down. Nobody can tell you who you are except yourself. Everything you do is because you do it. Everything you do is originated from within. There is so much I want to share with you but I do not know how to type it all hahaha
Might be useful. It’s got a lot of extreme cases mentioned, including suicides and attempted suicides, but mostly it focuses on Fry’s experience during his childhood. Your doctor probably has a point.
@skyfall, a form of depression that can cause absolute debilitation when in the depressive phase – to the point where you physically cannot get out of bed- and absolute euphoria in the manic phases- such as having the balls to go out and get banks loans and spending it all on complete junk.
The chances are you don’t have manic depression, but you do have a councillor who likes to make a quick buck.
I once saw a man in a manic phase, he had dressed up in a brand new 3 piece tweed suite and put a purple streak in his hair (I wish I were making that up), just because he could.
@skyfall, All I can really say, is that what you are experiencing isn’t so much a “problem”. It is something to tame and understand so you can use it to your advantage. You do not have an alter ego, it is just you! Think of this. Who was it that said who or what we should all be like? Who was it that said how or what we should all think? Who was it that said how we should act? Who was it that said how or what we should all feel? Because of the average person? The majority of people? But where in the majority is the base person, the model person, by which everyone else is compared? And why and what makes them so special that everyone should be like them? Who said that they are what we should compare ourselves to? What is to say there isn’t something wrong with them? Why isn’t it wrong for someone to try to make other people think they have a problem for the way they think? Assuming their behavior is erratic, wouldn’t it make it more so??? The highs will pass and so will the lows. Though one may feel but a moments time and the other an eternity, they are an experience and there is always something to learn from them. Think of it as a class. Be the teacher and the student.
@skyfall, They diagnosed me with bipolar too, and I’m not sure if they are right. Last time I was diagnosed, I was going through a very drug-heavy period; acid, molly, alcohol, lots of weed. So I think my bipolar was drug induced. One doctor told me they really can’t say if I have a mood disorder until I’ve been sober for a year and gotten all that shit out of my system.
Is it a mood disorder that leads to the drug abuse though? Hmmm
I have always thought about how mental disorders are just western interpretations of spiritual phenomena. In different parts of the world, not everyone has good health care. Some view it spiritually, they go to witch doctors or do kind of like a D.I.Y therapy in their own home. I think mental disorders in the western world are categorized negatively, which alienates the person more and more until it gets worse; or the difference between synthetic drugs and natural alternatives. I guess it’s all about the attitude you have for it.
In a nutshell: PLACEBO
@skyfall, ” Frankly I don’t know what I have! that’s the point, but my counselor did mention bipolar disorder and I just was curious of what it really means because I don’t know much about it. I have mood swings, I can get really depressed for about 3-4 weeks in that period I just want to die, then I go up to normal self and live like that for a while then I go up, when I am up I am hyper happy, I get careless, selfish, reckless, and hyper active, and that can go on for a while until I am down to normal self, I can but sometimes I can change moods by the hour, Happy one hour, sad the next and I don’t even know the reason. I do reckless spending but what teenager doesn’t?, I do get very daring, I abuse alcohol and other drugs, and self harms from anxiety.
I go up and down with my moods, and it’s very roller coaster like but I feel like I don’t have bipolar, I don’t have manic phases, I may have gotten some weird ideas under a hype happy period but I don’t think it’s that extreme, I just figured that I am depressed and have happy moment??.”
What you have just described is textbook bipolar disorder. There is nothing wrong with that, there is a lot of unnecessary negative stigma attached to mood disorders in today’s society. Embrace what the doctors are trying to tell you, they are only there to help. I was and do feel the same way as you and have for years, but with the help of medication given to me by the doctor, I have escaped the paralyzing grip of depression, anxiety, and recklessness. As a teenager I thought all of the same things about this as you did ‘Im just being a teenager’. But then you get out in to the real world and come across real problems, and the mood swings can very seriously affect your life and well-being.
The fact is, some people have bipolar, some people have ocd, and some people have diabetes. It is nothing more than a chemical imbalance and does not mean you are crazy. There is a lot of disinformation and people who just flat out wrong out there. The people who discredit 21st century medicine are the one’s who ‘claim’ to know everything there is to know about it, but in actuality they are speaking strictly on hear-say and internet articles that are not peer-reviewed, credible sources.
You are your own person free to make your own decisions, but my advice to you would be to quit the hard drugs (I as well am a fan of acid and molly, but when trying to figure yourself out and sort out your issues they can be very counter-productive). Weed is OK if used in moderation. Give what the doctors are trying to tell you an honest effort, and if after 6 months to a year you do not see any benefits, then go back to whatever it is you were doing before. Don’t be discouraged, it does take that long (6 months-year) for the medications to take effect, but when they do they work like magic.
|| I just think that I am a teenager that likes to live wildly and doesn’t think of the consequences ||
You say this like this isn’t a big deal, if you truly wish to understand yourself, first understand why you hold yourself is such low regard that you would participate in activities that you know destroy you without a care.
@chaselang19, thank you :) I will take all this into consideration. I mean what is the worst that can happen?? That I don’t have bipolar? well that’s great. I just think that many people today do find reasons to put a label on it, and medication. I feel like there is something wrong but like I said before I don’t think it’s bipolar at all, but as long as I am my normal calm self I will see what I can do, I am seeing a psychiatrist as of yesterday so it’s progress, I got some help from my counselor to and my boyfriend is supporting me, even though I give him hell most of the time.
WHY IS WESTERN MEDICINE TRYING TO CONVERT ALL OUR EMOTIONS AND ACTS IN A F***ING DISORDERS????? so that the pharmacy can make a money on us and also to make a junkies from us! last summer I had “tachycardia paroxysmalis” (quote from my medical report paper) I felt a sudden and very strong heart activity and I couldn’t breathe because of the panic…I was yelling to my mum that I don’t want to die yet…the doctors at the ambulance were trying to make me think that I have anxiety disorder…I had a hypochondria (every normal body reaction for me was a sign of some disease) they prescribed me a Diazepams and ignored all of my questions and suggestions because I don’t take medications, I only use herbs or some strange folk methods that pass my family for generations…anyway, I tested the blood, hormones, did all sorts of examinations…blah blah…I knew that nothing would be found, so I went to the guy that has a great healing potential through the bioenergy and after a two sessions I was better. he knew exactly what part of my body is out of a balance…I also discovered a herb named valerian, which helped me most (and is still helping) it has calming characteristics and it helped me to cure insomnia.(you can make a light tea that will calm you at day or you can put more herb to make a strong tea that will put you to sleep like a baby and you won’t wake up grumpy)…today this is all behind me, but I have a friend that had the same experience two months ago and she took medications similar to Diazepams and she’s gone too far with everything so now she lives in a constant fear…my point is that today doctors and psychiatrists pay no attention to their patients. they think that only they know what is the best. I don’t want to antagonize to them, but I can live a healthy life even without them =)
sometimes marijuana is not the best medicine especially if the dealer put some shit in it or sprayed the weed with dissolved speed to gain on its weight…and acid or the synthetics are just here to screw your mind and senses. if you are trying to find the escape in drugs you will not find it…ask yourself do you really need it…try abstinence for a while and clear your mind ;)
“WHY IS WESTERN MEDICINE TRYING TO CONVERT ALL OUR EMOTIONS AND ACTS IN A F***ING DISORDERS?????”
“Personally I don’t think I have bipolar, I just think that I am a teenager that likes to live wildly and doesn’t think of the consequences”
They’ve got something for that too! http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cyclothymia
I read something interesting about moods today. Basically, it states that feeling and moods cannot coexist, as mood intoxicates the mind whereas feeling is an expression of the mind. Good moods and bad moods are equally dangerous. Bipolar seems to be proof of this.
Unless it’s inhibiting your ability to live, don’t worry about stuff like that. I know some people who are very badly affected by their moods, and they live for the good ones’. They can never just be content because they think they are doomed to experience ups and downs. They rarely stop and think ‘maybe everyone else is the same’ and even when they do, it’s usually ignored due to the mood they’re in.
@mimic, Frankly I don’t know what I have! that’s the point, but my counselor did mention bipolar disorder and I just was curious of what it really means because I don’t know much about it. I have mood swings, I can get really depressed for about 3-4 weeks in that period I just want to die, then I go up to normal self and live like that for a while then I go up, when I am up I am hyper happy, I get careless, selfish, reckless, and hyper active, and that can go on for a while until I am down to normal self, I can but sometimes I can change moods by the hour, Happy one hour, sad the next and I don’t even know the reason. I do reckless spending but what teenager doesn’t?, I do get very daring, I abuse alcohol and other drugs, and self harms from anxiety.
I go up and down with my moods, and it’s very roller coaster like but I feel like I don’t have bipolar, I don’t have manic phases, I may have gotten some weird ideas under a hype happy period but I don’t think it’s that extreme, I just figured that I am depressed and have happy moment??.
My moods do affect my life, I may have to retake a year of school because of it, When I am down I don’t do much, I don’t eat, I don’t talk, I am just there, negative and crying and etc, I get nothing done and close myself in, when I am hyper happy, I don’t care about school, I get no school work done, I basically live in the moment and take things as the come in to my head.
I thought I had an alter ego at first, as it’s in my previous post, and it’s still there, but maybe it’s something deeper??