in the spirit of gratitude, which I’ve been feeling a lot lately, I wanted to bring up the topic of compliments. we’ve all at some point in these long lives we live, given a compliment to someone, or have gotten complimented; these few words carry the power to change the trajectory of one’s day, and sometimes one’s entire life. a simple “you look nice today”, “wow, these cookies you baked are delicious!” or even replying to a fellow HEthen’s post, informing them that you like how they think, at the very least makes that person smile. so think, what was that one compliment that someone gave you that saved you from falling into a shit/depression spiral, a decidedly “meh” day, or totally made you blush, because the person who said it had no idea, the magnitude of what they said was to you. And inversely, think about what you, yourself have said to someone that may have done the above for them at that moment
incidentally, I think in the span of a day I experienced both
both the absolute best compliment I’ve ever given/received came to last summer when I was at a music festival (m first one ever) I was watching a navajo band perform and was in the front of the stage, dancing with my best friend Chloe, it was really hot and I was probably mildly dehydrated, but I didn’t care, because the band was fantastic, so I just danced and danced, freely, until everyone disappeared (figuratively) and it was just the band and I. once the band finished their set, I had to return to the children’s tent I was volunteering at, it was really slow and n kids were in my particular tent, so my shift supervisor told me to go to the tent next to us and play with some clay, this was good because I was rapidly becoming a zombie.
I futz around for a while, then think I should, as a thanks to the band, make them a sculpture of something. I made a venus and was really proud of it, but the upper and lower torsos kept coming unstuck so I took a bit of paper wrote “appreciation” on it and stuck the torsos together with a little slip. m shift was over so I met up with my friend Shanti in a drum circle and showed everybody the sculpture of gratitude, they reassured me that this gift was endearing, not corny, as I thought it’d be which made me glad. anyway, so I saw Clayson, who was one of the band members and gave him the clay venus, and told him how amazing his band was and how I felt that I needed to make something for him as thanks. he smiled and gave me a hug, then told me that he really loves the way I dance, which at the time meant the world to me, because I had a really spiritual moment there with his band, and in a roundabout way, that felt like him saying I had a beautiful spirit. I blush a little and walk away after telling him that there is a surprise inside of it, so he shouldn’t put the sculpture in a kiln.
later that day, while walking around the festival grounds, he came up to me and gave me a huge hug and said “appreciation” giving me this indescribable look, as if we had just connected. that was a both the best compliment I’ve ever received and the best I’ve given.
@hlalhabattu, Thats an awesome story man, sounds like quite the experience. I try and be nice to everyone I meet, its the least I could do seeing that we share this earth. I believe that everyone deserves to hear compliments about them, and feel no embarassment in letting complete strangers as well as close friends know that they are appreciated in whichever way.
And as far as best compliment ive ever received, I donno, tough call. Receiving fellatio as a thank you always makes me feel really special.
@hlalhabattu, That was beautiful! The best compliments are mutual. :)
I rarely give people reasons to compliment me, but if I do, I start to depersonalize myself. And the compliments I’ve given were 100% honest so I can’t remember them. Someone needs to remind me. I’m weird as fuck. :)
Wow, I just got it, JUST NOW so wanted to put it here right away! It gave me real fuzzy chills of love, I love it, love it
A friend of mine I see from time to time, sent this to me, likening a Bonobo song to how he views my philosophy and energy of life and how it’s effected him.
“it does make me think of you though. your philosophy and maybe just how i think of the process of events, research and pattern of thinking that led you to what your passionate about. or the way your passionate about life. ive really enjoyed the conversations weve had on the subject and its opened me up to a different way of thinking entirely. subconciously i think its helped me understand things i might not have, or misconceived. so… thanks man haha”
” i just thought you should know. i keep in touch with a few friends and your one i would like to keep up with. your a good person all around man and its good to have people like that you can communicate with.”
I don’t feel like I deserve this, but wow, I can’t help but glow. It makes me feel good that someone tells me I make them feel so good.
Bonobo – “Recurring” http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GfugtAWxooU
This isn’t necessarily a compliment but it made me feel really good about myself, so I will share it anyways.
Ok so when I’m driving in my car I sometimes like to wave and smile at people just for fun, you know, lighten up the mood of what can be to some a monotonous task. I mean we share the moment only for a brief second so why not make it a happy one. Anyways, I don’t always get waves back and occasionally get dirty glances. Although, I do not understand why people can take offense to me waving and smiling from my car. I guess people are just weird like that. Anywho, tonight I’m driving through a mall and slowly making a left into one of the parking lots there, while a red sedan makes a slow right out. And on impulse I gave this goofy ass smile and wave. The light skinned black man probably in his forties wearing sick pimp shades looks at me quick then looks back with eyes wide and a huge smile on his face and waves back haha. I don’t know if it was my surprise at this pimp ass black dudes response or just the simple beauty of the moment. But I was so happy it was awesome. In that brief moment we made eye contact, we said “you are awesome” and it was totally mutual. Needless to say it was better than a compliment and a great moment in my life. The kind of moments where you just have complete faith in humanity. I loved it!
@hlalhabattu, That they didnt really know how to explain why it was different than with other people, but that they really didnt even want to think about the possibility of not having me around in the future.
I dont remember how they worded it exactly because it was a long time ago and theyve since totally cut all ties with me, but it was really nice at the time. It was extra nice because they said it after we hadnt talked in a while and we had been trying to make plans to hang out and they kept mentioning that they had drugs. . .this and that about having drugs and if I wanted to do them. . .and then I had said something to the effect of….
-you know, I actually missed you a lot. I didnt miss the drugs. I kind of just wanted to hang out and things be chill together. . .so the drugs are really whatever. . .they dont actually matter to me you know right.-
And then thats when they were sort of taken aback because, at that time, the people we hung out with didnt really do that. They didnt just enjoy each others company. . .the coming together of people was either to fuck, to party, to get fucked up, or to cause trouble. Hanging out meant something more like, -hey I dont want to pick up by myself so come keep me company-. So I dont know, it was really nice that it made them feel really nice and then it was really nice that they felt so nice about me in return. Lots of nice lol.
@yoinkie, I’d be inclined to agree with that statement haha, certainly a loving gesture
@nightowl, whoa…that’s intense, I’d not know how to respond to that. simply amazing
@slackernumber2, I pictured that situation in my head and it made me smile
@mjayne, that must’ve made them feel really special, just goes to show how powerful a few words can be
“I can live for two months on a good compliment.”
“Always give without remembering and always receive without forgetting.”
“Kindness in words creates confidence. Kindness in thinking creates profoundness. Kindness is giving creates love.”
“Wise sayings often fall on barren ground; but a kind word is never thrown away.”
“The goodness of a man is determined solely by his eagerness to show love to others.”
“Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.”