Wow, karma seems so real right now!

2 years, 3 months ago

I used to be a pill junkie and all my friends had to watch me turn slowly into a hollow shell of my former self. I still fuck around sometimes (not with the same drug but similar ones) but am no longer addicted. A friend of mine is getting really deep into the exact drug I was hooked on for 2 years. I am so worried yet feel extremely helpless because I know there’s not much in my power to do. When I was in that position, nothing anyone said did a thing. I had to learn the hard way. The fucked up thing is, while about 75% of me hates that vile drug and wants to cry for my friend and help him in any way possible, 25% now cannot stop thinking about getting my hands on it. Perhaps more than 25%… This is shameful but I’m a pretty open person, and it’s true. Can anyone relate to any segment of this fiasco?

December 4, 2012 at 10:14 am

You must sign in or join to reply!

Profile photo of alexa Anonymous (@) 2 years, 3 months ago ago

It’s not so much shameful, it’s just a fact of life for us that we have to live with, and that we’ve accepted that 25% of the time we’re gunna want to get back to that. In situations that are close to home like yours, your inner dormant addict is screaming to get a hold of it.

But you’re not following that voice, I’m happy you came here and spoke about it. I’ve had my moments, especially when coke was laid out in front of me on the table. When I could smell it, taste it, my nose instantly started running. There’s a bottle of Whiskey in the fridge and it’s calling to me, but I’m not beckoning to that call. I like you, wanted nothing more but to inform those people what they’re doing to themselves if they don’t stop there – but we know they won’t listen to anyone but themselves. The best we can do is watch out for ourselves, and keep our inner addict sober.

I’m sure you’ve heard this before, but I am proud of you Ellie! We hold two largely different views on a lot of shit, but this…I feel you. I respect you. Don’t feel shitty or fucked up, because we’re always going to have that desire to pick it up again.

Profile photo of Filip Filip M (@filipek) 2 years, 3 months ago ago

You acquired the experiential wisdom of how you do not want your life to be anymore. No matter how hard the cravings are pulling you, the other 75% of you is pulling with a lot stronger force. Do not give up on that, believe that the path you have chosen is the right path, believe that the easy way of the cravings will only take you back to the place you do not want to be anymore. I can definitely relate to what you are saying cause I have been there myself, succumbed to the cravings multiple times, and all the hard work that I have been doing to come to a certain point, had been destroyed like that.
You know the place, you know that you do not want to go back there, you know that you are strong enough to overcome it.
You do not need our confirmation for this, because deep down you know that you will not get back to that place, no matter the decision of your friends.
Push yourself, stay on the right path, no matter the external influences. Believe, pray to God or whatever else may help you to choose wisely and make the right decision. Trust yourself, you are strong enough for sure, do not doubt that! The moments of pleasure will not be worth the pain you will get afterwards! Fight, and do not give up, fight in what you believe for, keep fighting how you have been fighting so far, you came out of it, meaning that you have strong willpower and a big dedication and motivation to overcome whatever you want to overcome! The craving that you feel right now is just a fake craving, a trick of your mind to get you to a fake place of pleasure that you do not really want to be. It is not you who is craving for that, it is your old habit patterns, your old lifestyle which is not real anymore, you are not that person anymore!

Profile photo of Ellie Ellie M (@tangledupinplaid21) 2 years, 3 months ago ago

@alexa, @filipek, I do need your guys’s words right now! They have helped me so much! Right after I wrote this I was asking my friend to help me get it and then I read Alexa’s comment which served as a much needed reminder and told him nevermind. And then your comment Filip helps me more than I can ever say! In fact I am going to print it out and keep it in my wallet. Thank you guys so much.

Profile photo of jamesjump jamesjump (@jamesjump) 2 years, 3 months ago ago


Like the others I’ve also been through ‘it’. For me it was a long time ago, but it’s still there and always will be. I know I’m stronger – most of the time.

You’ll win, I know it.

Profile photo of Ellie Ellie M (@tangledupinplaid21) 2 years, 3 months ago ago
Reply to this topic

More Posts Like This


[Official] What did you think of the meditation 30-day challenge?

Before we start the next challenge (dream journaling!), I’d like to get feedback on the last one. How did you like it? Did you benefit from the challenge? What would you change for next time? What functionality...


Intelligence: a Blessing or a Curse?

Greetings HEthens, I’d like to talk about intelligence vs. stupidity. More specifically, I intend to address these questions: Is ignorance truly bliss? And, if so, is being stupid – that is, being perpetually...


[HE 30 Day Challenge] March ’15 – Dream Journaling!

Is everyone super zen from last month’s meditation challenge? I hope so :) The challenge for March is dream journaling! Dream journaling is the practice of writing down your dreams immediately upon waking (before...


physics / psychology

Physical science aka physics, I believe is but one side of a coin. Where social sciences like psychology and many others are the other side. There is the physical world and the mental world. One can effect the other like...


[Official] Site-Wide February Meditation Challenge!

Welcome to the first of many monthly HE 30 day challenges! We ran a poll to choose the challenge, and the winner was meditation, with dream journaling as a close second. The rules are simple: 1) Meditate at least once...


I feel as if I've done all this before.

Sometimes I feel as if I have already lived this life before. Not just this life, but other ones as well. Sometimes I will do something and it will feel like I had done that before. I may start to watch a movie and it...


why it is so hard to find the right people?

Hi HE! its been a while since my last post here, i have go through an incredible journey in the last two years but there is something that doesnt complete me. I was hopping that maybe you guys could give an advice or if...


The Darkness

The Darkness Are you tired of this shit? Tired of your safe and mundane existence? Tired of pretending to care? What if you just gave up? What if you just did not give a fuck anymore? How liberating would that feel?...


What are your limits?

I’m curious where you guys place the limit of what you can do. Like in your flow of creating, or being yourself (doing the things you want to do) where do you bump in to the wall which suggests that you should...


Any one want to live in the mountains of Colorado in Earthship and off Grid?

Starting a Earthship commune type place to go and live off the land and be free. Geodesic greenhouses and creative place where their is no worries, no pressure, no bullshit, raise a family. Any one want to live in an...


How can I get along with people

its been my problem for ever.I can’t get along with i got into big argument with my classmate in front of whole class.I was humiliated.I can’t have good conversations with anybody.I feel like...


I want my parents to try pot.

My parent are super stress all the time my father drinks allot and well my mother can’t take he’s drinking any longer anyway i want to tell them that i smoke pot (I don’t know if it’s a good idea...


Heroin effect feel like Total Body Orgasm ?

Take the best orgasm you’ve ever had multiply it by a billion and you’re still nowhere near it. Imagine a warm wave washing over your body that eliminates any feelings of sorrow, regret, anger, stress, or...


I want to talk about masturbation

We all do it. Some of us do it more than others. A lot of us do it everyday. Some people say it’s healthy. But other people say it is extremely dangerous to your mental health and the way you look at people...


Anyone interested in creating a music blog

I was thinking about starting up a new music blog. I was thinking all different styles and genre’s of music with a common theme that kind of goes along with this site. Whether that be a spiritual, philosophical, or...