x,y,z and now, z+
( z+ ) threads contain the following commonalities,
- they tend to be funny
- they tend to be creative
- they have no inherent value other than to share something creative
so, if you want to post something random, like a picture, a limerick, short story, essay, intriguing observation,
please do so below, and join the pointlessness of ( z+ ) conversations
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What’s the difference between a goat?
Nor can it ride a bike.
Two elephants were flying across the ocean.
One of them said to the other: “Hey watch out you have a croissant in your eye!”
The other one replied: “I can’t hear you, I have a croissant in my eye.”
Hälge the elk was sitting in a tree with his pal. A submarine landed in another tree nearby.
Hälge said: “He probably lives there.”
Do you like DnB?
Are you into Swedish House?
Do you have a thing for complextro/electro house?
Maybe a bit more basic progressive house?
Perhaps melodic dubsteppy tunes strike your fancy?
Or are you more of a bagpipes person?
Just some noise I made to get to know my vst plugins a bit better.
A priest, a rabbi, and Spiderman were about to walk into a bar. The priest ran in.
That motherfucker ruined the whole joke.
Two forks were cruising among the clouds.
Suddenly one of them came crashing down.
Why? Because forks don’t fly.
Two horses were out flying on a sunny afternoon.
Then one of them crashlanded.
Why? She got a fork in her eye.
Why the long face?
Because of the fork in her eye.
A dog was flying around in a glass.
Two elks were flying around. One said to the other:
“Hey isn’t it strange that we’re all flying when we really can’t?”
The other responded: “Don’t worry, my father is a hotdog vendor.”
Once upon a time, there was another time.
“Watch out for that pitfall.”
What do you call a joke between two interns?
A man ordered one meter of sausage from the butcher. The butcher replied that they don’t sell by the meter, only by the kilo. So the man ordered a kilometer.
“Hey waiter, this tastes like rabbit!”
“It is a rabbit.”
“But I ordered vegetarian.”
“Rabbits are vegetarians.”
Skeletor walks into a bar. He orders a beer and a towel.
All the ants in the ant hill were pissed off about the elephant that always ruined their anthill. So they all attacked him at once, but the elephant just shook them all off. All but one.
All the ants on the ground started shouting to him “Sleeper hold, Jeremy! Sleeper hold!”
“Can I please have your poop, if you don’t mind?”
“I don’t give a shit.”
I can’t for the life of me remember the colour of the queen’s white horse. I do, however, remember a fork stuck in her eye.
All the legs of this horse were exactly the same length, especially the left one.
Why did mrs Fsh leave mr Fish for mr Fisherman?
I named my cats One and Two, so that if One dies I still have Two.
Who sent you that anonymous love letter?
Right when I took a dump in that vent, that’s when the shit hit the fan.
What do you get if you do a handstand with a cat on your feet while someone is playing the banjo?
I have no idea.
Why did the elephant go to the ant’s funeral?
Because the ant was dead.
Why did the elephant wear a purple tie to the funeral?
Because the red one was in the laundry.
Why is that pop song sounding so wishy-washy?
Because RedOne was in the laundry.
A wheelchair bound man and his wife found a magical cave that could restore any one person to perfect condition. But only one of them. Since the man was in a wheelchair, they decided that he would be the one to enter the cave.
He rolled into the cave, then he came back out and said to his wife:
“Check out the rims on this bad boy! And look how fast it rolls.”
The stallion didn’t get lucky with the mares. They were all over some other stallion. One day he found out why. The other stallion was bringing them carrots and apples.
So the stallion yelled to the mares:
Once upon a time there was a young girl named Emma Royd. All the kids made fun of her, until one day she slit her wrists.
A hunter accidentally shot himself. His hunter friend called 911 and told them what happened, that his friend was dead. The lady on the other end of the line asked if he’d made sure that the man was really dead, and not just passed out from the pain. She heard a rifle shot, and the hunter said “Now I have.”
Those triplets in the submarine, what’s their names again?
Thor, Pedro, and Perry Scope.
I was gonna shoot some pool, but the queue was too long.
What’s the difference between a polar bear?
He’s whiter on the belly than on the weekend.
Want to hear a sick joke?
Why did Stephen Hawking try to play golf?
To reduce his handicap.
This show is a drag.
Yeah, that’s because it’s a dragshow.
if -what- were a -can of tuna-, and -universal- was a -baseball bat-, the -baseball bat- will break the -can of tuna-, this means that an orange brutal rape scene might actually be required to disallow the -baseball bat- from breaking the -can of tuna-, giving -what- value instead of being smashed to smithereens.
This song is a rough version of a song I wrote awhile ago. I was playing around with the idea of being in an internal hell, and traveling through the parts of self that were once overlooked… Check it out..
This one, I wrote with the idea of the Apple of Eden in my mind. If you want me to elaborate on it, let me know. :)
If you like this stuff like my facebook page!
Ask me if I’m a boat.
Are you a boat?
Ask me if I’m a house.
Are you a house?
No! I’m a fucking boat!
A midget walks under a bar.
A dad buffalo and his son are hangin’ in the grass.
Kid buffalo is like hey dad screw you! I’m going off to college to be a real buffalo!
Dad buffalo says “Bison”
If you guys get any fish jokes let minnow.
Walleye can think of a few, they don’t come easy!
But I know for sure when a fish hits a wall they scream “DAM!”
–while dividing the cucumber into more than 3 pieces.–
see, while i agree that a cucumber is a genuine mathematical function, dividing it into 3 surely is not advisable, i say this because, if we consider all the radios, all the tee-shirts, and the bloodstains that drip from each, each drop can be measured by the chocolate society desires, which is peace, irregardless if the word irregardless is really a word in the first place
@tine, mine was more confusing :P
still i do not want to simulate a fucking stereotype, i do not know what the fuck if anything fucking happened but i`m in love with it, it`s so full , so wholy, it`s nice. And i`m bullshitting because i cannot recreate reality, i am just pointing at something, trying to tell you that there is BEAUTY!!!
@tine, That’s the whole story, getting someone interested in seeing where it goes was the only point of it, so I guess it’s not that bad after all.
If you want to add to it, go ahead. As long as it stays dark and gritty, it probably fits.
@tine, But the magic is in the fact that it is incomplete, it starts of in the middle of something and ends before it’s over, this creates tension. If I gave you the beginning and the end, that magic would be gone, and you would see that it isn’t really a good story. The tension was all it had to offer.
Just like a typical club song, very little musical value, but lots and lots of tension keeps you wanting more.
Same goes for a lot of song lyrics, be it a romantic song or a “let’s fight” song, it starts right in the middle, “I feel this, I feel that. I want this and that. Maybe I’ll do this, maybe I’ll do that” but it never happens, does it?
Along comes yet another song with another scenario like it.
You don’t know where things are going, that’s what makes the whole thing. But it’s an illusion, the stories, songs, movies, etc. are very predictable, most of the time you’re already certain how it will end. But in the moment, there is still that tension, and even if you understand where things are going that part of you doesn’t.
It’s the same thing with art. A perfectly made portrait is just an attempt at a replica, it may look good, but it’s still just an imitation, and it’s not as good as the real thing.
But then there are those paintings who are almost there, but not quite, still kinda vague and diffuse, but you get the rough idea. It gets your mind going, and this stimulation is what makes it nice.
I’m not even a good writer, if I were to complete a story it still couldn’t compare to what’s already out there. And why make an inferior imitation, know what Im sayin?
I don’t even like writing fiction haha.
The story isn’t good, it’s all in the tension.
It’s like sex. Which of the following are more exciting?
A) “Wanna fuck?” “Sure!” Clothes come off, fucking ensues.
B) She’s been teasing and challenging you all day, you’re finally about to get some, she’s undressing, you’re making out, but she runs away giggling and hides somewhere, you find her, she gave you yet another challenge, you succed and you finally get to fucking her brains out…
That’s what I thought.
That’s because of tension and release. Like the drop in a song, the happy ending of a movie, the climax at the end of a love session, the gold in them thar hills… it’s only as sweet as the contrast coming from the release of tension.
You know there’s something good at the end, but you don’t know when you’ll get it, it keeps you on your toes.
It’s a bit scary actually, because people’s desires can be manipulated by simple teasing like this, things become more precious when they’re slightly out of reach.
Just like a boring string suddenly becomes interesting to a cat when you start moving it.
Just like the average stick the dog usually ignores becomes his life mission once it’s thrown.
Just like running away is a surefire way to lure out a shy wild (predatory) animal.
Anything can be made to grasp a person’s interest with the right methods, it’s all in the tease, building up the tension, and not giving it to them.
The higher the tension, the sweeter the release. The more you want something, the better it feels when you get it, that’s why foreplay was invented.
So people who want a lot of stimulation will get themselves excited about anything as long as it’s “shiny,” it’s a stepping stone to their desired stimulation.
Because after all, we choose to get ourselves so excited about things, just because we love the feeling of release. Things aren’t just striking our fancy for no reason, it’s our opportunistic minds seeing a chance to get off.
That’s why we get bored with things we can take for granted.
We love to struggle because overcoming struggle is the only way to feel release. We always find things to get bothered about, and if we don’t we create them.
But the more you see this, the more it goes away.