You are an average of the 5 people you spend the most time with

3 years ago

I have been hearing this constantly lately, so my subconscious must be saying it’s important.

This really makes me reflect on who I choose to hang out with, and what i bring to the table.


February 2, 2012 at 3:57 am

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Profile photo of Sasho Stoyanov Anonymous (@) 3 years ago ago

Great topic. And it is true. When you look at every group of people it is always true, as long as they share the same goal or idea. The most interesting example for me is Tarzan. What would happen if you don’t hang with the same people ? If you choose to be alone with everyone. You may be the average of your favorite 5 books, 5 songs, 5 movies and idols. You are what moves you. I’ve left a lot of friends* to stay in my past, because of my giant ego. Since then, only good things started happening to me. :)


There is a lot of truth to this.

Profile photo of Skye Skye (@skye) 3 years ago ago

I like this! I see myself in some of my close co-workers, my parents, and best friends. I never really thought about this but I suppose we all adapt to each other after spending extended amounts of time with each other. We are still are own selves, but kinda have a fingerprint in another person as they have in us. Awesome!


I could see how there is a lot of truth to this, but I am not an average of the five people I hang out with most. I simply live my own life and go after what I want and don’t let people hold me back. Good thought though

Profile photo of Eric Eric M (@blankey) 3 years ago ago

People are not only influenced by their environment, but they essentially are their environment. Friends consist in this category, so your statement above must be true.

I’ve been thinking about this quite a bit lately and stopped hanging around a friend as much as I was.

Profile photo of James James (@alljuicedup) 3 years ago ago

Going on the assumption that this is true, if you are not self aware and are letting your circumstances determine your life, this may not be a good thing. But I’d like to think us HEthens on the mutual quest of self understanding realize that our circumstances do not determine our lives. Our thoughts and our choices determine our circumstances.

The mere fact that you are here, reading this post, means that you are aware of this concept and you are in control. You are not a drone going along in life without ever opening your eyes, which means you are not “the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with” because you’re existence is bending to them. You are the average of those people because you are choosing to spend time with like minded individuals. It is a conscious choice that we interact with people with similar beliefs, goals, outlooks, etc.

There is a saying, if you strive to be successful, than hang out with successful people. But it is not because you are unwittingly becoming like them. It is because you already were like them, you already were successful, you already had the right frame of mind, you are finally just choosing to live that life.

So yes, be careful who you “hang out with”… not because you will become like them, but because it will reveal to you who you already are.

Profile photo of Kevin Kevin (@bigred) 3 years ago ago

Ive also noticed this first hand years ago. I met a person, who reminded me of another person, and sure enough…!
they knew eachother.

Ive also seen myself change as i hang out with diffrent people while traveling. Not to fit in or anything, it just happens.

Accents are contagious as well ;)

Profile photo of Bridget Bridget (@bird212) 3 years ago ago

Very true. I got in a huge fight with all of my best friends since high school. I was devastated but after, I was able to observe the group from the outside and realized how better of a person I was now that I was without that group. Made me feel a lot better about what had happened and about myself!

Profile photo of Alex Alex (@hollowinfinity) 3 years ago ago

This is half the reason why I think we are all the same thing/person anyways. We’re all products of each other.

Profile photo of Chris Chris (@cbrock) 2 years, 6 months ago ago

Earlier today, I had this thought “Does anyone really have a unique personality singular to themselves alone? How does one acquire a personality?” Then I signed up for this site roundly 4 hours later. Now I’m here at this article reading about things I imagined no one had questions about. Its comforting to know there are others.

About the topic, I believe everyone is a product of their environment (environment being the people around you). And if ones’ personality isn’t derived from these people then surely it’s sampled from events triggered by others, be it good or bad, just memorable.

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