Jordan Bates • • 2 min read
This Just In: Earthly Sky Absolutely Magnificent 365 Days Per Year
You read correctly.
The sky — that sprawling watercolor painting that is constantly above your head — is actually profoundly beautiful and glorious all the time.
While we’ve been bustling about down here on Earth, hustling from task to task, taking care of our so-called Very Important Business, the sky has just been there, chilling, being the absolute shit — an ever-changing masterwork of light and color, perpetually re-painted by Mother Nature herself.
New scientific research suggests that two of the sky’s most famous occupants — the moon and sun — actually feel amused watching the human race run around in circles all day, seemingly so frantic and desperate to bring about some sort of change or improvement or new state of affairs. The moon and sun just sort of gaze at the humans, chuckling, wondering if we’re ever going to grasp the Eternal Chill of the Already Perfect Cosmos.
Apparently, the sun and moon have a difficult time understanding why mankind takes everything so damn seriously. New scientific instruments actually managed to record something that the sun said to the moon the other day:
“Wait, those humans do realize that everything they’ve ever created or will create is but a sand castle destined to be washed away by the ocean of Infinity, don’t they? It seems like they never cease what they’re doing and just, like, unapologetically gawk at this insanely sublime fucking universe.”
Furthermore, it’s now becoming clear that clouds are in on the joke too. Even though clouds are totally transient, living much shorter lives than humans, they are reportedly much, much wiser than us. They might take a few moments to have a laugh at the latest human exploits, but for the most part they spend their time enjoying the fuck out of their short chance to drift playfully through the air, admiring their own vital majesty and the vital majesty of everything around them. Last week, scientific instruments reportedly recorded the following conversation between two clouds:
Cloud 1: “Yo, man, those humans look hella dumb down there, scurrying about like that.”
Cloud 2: “Eh, don’t be too harsh. Some of them are making art, contemplating the cosmos, and building some pretty cool shit.”
Cloud 1: “Yeah, I feel that, but the vast majority of them seem to be engaged in activities they don’t even like, performing trivial tasks to make money for somebody who is exploiting their labor. The fuck is up with that?”
Cloud 2: “You’re right. That’s pretty wack. Fuck it, let’s just dig this view and this breeze, mang.”
Cloud 1: “Word. WHEEE!!!!”
Cloud 2: “WHEEEEEE!!!!!!”
Yes, my friends, as difficult as it might be to believe, this is our situation on planet Earth.
These startling new findings suggest that you might want to take a step back from whatever you’re engaged in and simply stare at the fucking sky, soaking in its subtle hues and limitless grandeur. If you can’t find the time to do so, you may well be frittering away your one short and precious life.